The Lady or The Tiger: Harlingen Plays A Round of Deal, or No Deal...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to The Tribune

HARLINGEN, Texas - This past weekend, local cops arrested a man here for failing to cross a street at the crosswalk, or so said the police blotter at headquarters. Jaywalking took that man, someone by the name of Ramirez, to the city jail, where he awaited arraignment alongside a few others busted for public intoxication. It was unclear whether Ramirez simply strolled at mid-point of a city block, or whether his arrest had some other, perhaps ornery, element - like maybe bitching to the cops about the loud noise coming from city politics.

Intoxication in that world has gone malarious here. Viruses heretofore unknown in public service have reared their ugly heads. Name-calling rules. There are male liars and female fibbers from one end of town to the other. Reputations are being made and lost with every verbal uppercut. What's the Big Deal?

Well, of late...that's it right there: deal, as in Jerry Deal, operator of a website going by the name of MyLeaderNews.com. Suddenly, it is the primo defender of City Commissioner Kori Marra. And just as quickly, Deal has garnered both praise and scorn from supporters and opponents of the first-year commissioner whose style of late is to let others wage her battles. He does not apologize, noting on his Blog that he is responding to cruel and caustic commentary aimed at Ms. Marra over on MyHarlingenNews.com - the flag-waver for progress in this under-achieving community now on the lip of major political change. A former newsman employed by the local daily, The Valley Morning Star, Deal wonders why half the town is out to get Commissioner Marra, critics he says arrive with an ammo box full of armor-piercing bullets.

As they say in outdoor cooking, it's all bad chili for Harlingen.

At MyHarlingenNews.com, Editor Tony Chapa is unrelenting in his desire to expose Commissioner Marra. He is of the opinion that the commissioner is not good for this community. At present, the verbal jabs are pretty much even, some for Ms. Marra and some against. She, however, has largely been absent from the fray, shoveling one response to MyLeaderNews.com and ignoring Chapa's blog. In the context of the bigger world, this local four-round flyweight fight is of little consequence. Not a word of it has filtered out to neighboring communities.

News of the jaywalker's arrest, however, did get out...and no doubt it got a few laughs.

- 30 -

At The Coffee Shop, One of Those Neat Portraits of Humanity...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to The Tribune

McALLEN, Texas - These days, Sunday mornings here come with the usual overcast skies ahead of the afternoon scorch, the worst of it being a heavy dose of high humidity. It makes one head indoors by mid-morning, but it also makes one look for slices of life worth spending a few minutes on, like the doings of other Human Beings battling the same elements.

At Starbucks, my coffee shop of choice, outings for a cup or two or three dawns with a gathering of early-rising friends. Linda is there, as is Marco and Allen (the budding novelist), the pastor and sometimes Kathy or Jessica or a woman we know as the bodybuilder. And then there's Jimmy.

Jimmy is in his late-80s. He arrives aboard a 10-speed bicycle equipped with an aluminum water container and an air pump strapped to the frame of his bike; that, and a small leather pouch behind his seat, presumably for repair tools. Jimmy wheels in from somewhere along N. 10th Street. We watch him navigate the busy Starbucks parking lot, slicing there between SUVs and sedans and pickups. He wears the outfit: helmet, backpack, windbreaker and heavy hiking tennis shoes.

"Good morning, Jim," I like to say to him as he walks in.

"It's Jimmy," he says in return.

He acts bugged, but he isn't. When he wants to, Jimmy is a sociable dude. Sometimes he stops and says something to us, like this or that about local traffic, but mostly he comes to do his business. That consists of this: Jimmy walks to the counter and then reaches down to a metal stand holding the day's New York Times. He takes it and walks outside to the tables set under a canvas overhang. There, he reads it in less than 15 minutes before walking it back to the stand, to place it back in its place.

This morning, I watched him as he went through his ritual. But this time, Jimmy folded the Times and slipped it into his aging backpack. He'd not paid for it, although that doesn't bother me. Not a bit. My feeling is all newspapers should be free for anyone under 21 and over 70. Who'd take issue with that?

I watch as Jimmy climbs aboard his bicycle and moves toward N. 10th Street. He stops for passing traffic and then, when it's safe, he proceeds across the street toward a Whataburger. I imagine him reaching into his wallet to pay for a sausage and egg sandwich and wish I could text a message to the burger joint's counter help to say I'd be right over to to pay for Jimmy's breakfast.

No reason. Jimmy's just a cool old coot...

- 30 -     

When In Harlingen, There Are 16 Grand Activities For Your Ever-Lasting Pleasure. Count Them: 16!...

By RON MEXICO
Staff Writer

HARLINGEN, Texas - We believe there is more to this Mid-Valley community, but below is a list of 16 activities the City of Harlingen lists as things to do while in town (Photo above is of a once-popular ice house, taken in 1939. The telephone at this fellow's side was for call-in orders. A sample of the block ice sought by heat-whipped locals can be seen to his left.):

And so, from the City of Harlingen's website:

(1.) Bike along the Arroyo on the City's two-mile Hike & Bike Trail.

(2.) Load up the lawn chairs and head to McKelvey Park for "Blues on the Hill" - free concerts all summer long.

(3.) Take a walking tour among the natives - plants that is, at Hugh Ramsey Nature Park.

(4.) Shop for bargains at Market Day on Jackson Street the first Saturday of each month.

(5.) Shop for the latest fashions at Valley Vista Mall.

(6.) Bet on the winners at Valley Race Park Simulcast dog and horse races from around the nation 364 days a year.

(7.) Take a sunset stroll around City Lake and watch the sun melt into the palm trees.

(8.) Sink some putts at Tony Butler Municipal Golf Course.

(9.) Experience the charm of local theatre with a show at Harlingen Performing Arts Theatre.

(10.) Who wouldn't "love" to play of tennis at H.E.B. Tennis Center?

(11.) Visit the past at the Rio Grande Valley Museum, two blocks from Valley International Airport.

(12.) Pay tribute to World War II heroes at the Iwo Jima Monument & Museum.

(13.) CINEMARK 16 - The Palace - Stereo surround sound in all theatres.

(14.) CINEMARK MOVIES 10 - in Sun Valley Mall. 

(15.) Harlingen Municipal Auditorium.

(16.) Table Tennis Club.

Okay, now let's give those destinations some thought and then compare them to what's offered by the cities of McAllen and Brownsville to their residents and their tourists...hmmmmmm....

- 30

The Bathroom Chronicles: In Which Our Writer Pulls The Shades On Dirty Public Bathrooms...

By RICARDO KLEMENT
Staff Writer

EDINBURG, Texas - My friends at The Coffee Zone here know a thing or two about bathroom hygiene - they keep theirs as clean as clean can be. It's also a pleasant experience beyond the obvious. Nice, expensively framed art fills the four walls, all of them of women in sexy poses, one on a table of sorts wearing, well, her birthday suit, another of an attractive woman in a red negligee rifling through her male partner's pants pockets while he sleeps alongside. It is art, yes. What else could it be? It's a coffee shop!

But, sadly, The Coffee Zone's immaculate bathroom is a rare sight in the Rio Grande Valley. Public bathrooms inside cafes and movie theaters and dance halls and bars leave much to be desired. Perhaps the partying and scarfing mobs ovewhelm the cleaning crews. Who knows? All we say is that things could be cleaner all the way around.

And who knows...this may eventually become an issue for area politicians. It also may just go to the large number of illnesses parading from Rio Grande City to Brownsville. We are aware that excitable Action 4 News, the Harlingen-based CBS affiliate, occasionally offers restaurant reviews. But reporter Ryan Wolf focuses on the cleanliness of restaurant food and kitchens, and of course he should do that. Better video would come, however, if he only walked his camera into some of these pitiful bathrooms...

- 30 -

HURRY SUNDOWN: On A Semi-Gorgeous Morning, We Go in Search of El Rocinante's Darkened World...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to the Tribune

HARLINGEN, Texas - On our way to Brownsville the other day for a looksee into the work of the controversial Blog El Rocinante.com, we lost our way and left the highway via the Ed Carey Drive exit ramp here, moved toward the city's main drag and ultimately veered off on Commerce Street and it wasn't long before we saw one of those gorgeous economic breakfast joints of the sort we love - Panchito's, there in the shadow of The Valley Morning Star's despair-white building.

It hit us that our investigative piece on El Rocinante could wait while we quaffed a few cups of jet-black coffee and put away a plate of huevos rancheros in honor of all-things-Mexico. What a fine, fine morning, was our central thought as we exited the place and again set sail for the lard-ass seat of Cameron County government. We'd put away the day's edition of the New York Times, likely a first for any customer in the history of Panchito's. But that was okay. We'd been overly-involved with the local goings-on, attending to the yin & yang of Harlingen politics, but now, now we wanted to head directly into the miasma that is today's Brownsville.

Our piece on El Rocinante will hit the Blog sometime next week. It should thrill fans of the Gonzo-style web site, and it should scare the beejeezus out of the rest of the civilized world. There is no more grand visionary in the entire Rio Grande Valley than its editor, Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully - considered by critics as the man behind "...that Black Hole of unslakable lust." More on El Rocinante in our story.

But this is about our drive up and down U.S. 83, the last proud highway. We left McAllen at dawn, thinking we'll hit a Starbucks in Weslaco for our initial cup of Joe. Then, as we cruised into Harlingen, we were taken by a sports bar there on the right side of the road - Butt Wild, is the name of the place. Immediately, it brought back nice images of my last girlfriend up in Big D. Well, I said to myself, what's all this rot I've been hearing about how sheltered Harlingen is, about how it's the town on the move with a super-tight political wedgie between its legs, about how it's the last bastion of RGV racism, about how no one from richer, prettier McAllen goes to Harlingen 'cause there is no there there. Butt Wild, eh? That business name had to be approved by City Hall, so...

Anyway, the long road loomed. At the Rancho Viejo point in the trip, I smile for the umpteenth time at that silly golf-ball water tower, smiled even longer than we'd smiled at the Freddy Fender Water Tower in San Benito. Freddy's crazy, frizzy hair covers most of that tower, but, hey, they say it's always humid in San Benito. Whatever. We kept rolling, fueled by Panchito's coffee and the songs of Phil Collins bursting out of the dash radio. Su-Su-Sudio on the outskirts of Brownsville can damage your brain, or is it really that messy, mind-blowing fleamarket off to the side of the road? I'd swear every entry into Brownsville smells like either old boots or rotting avocados, or maybe it's all that bad-breadth coming from the town's economic 14th Street cantinas. As my Brownsville galpal likes to say about mysteries of the world, "Quien sobby..."

I dunno, I dunno.

Brownsville proves a motherlode of info on El Rocinante. I now believe it is the quintessential story of everything - love, hate, adultery, porno, betrayal, abuse, bad poetry, profane nicknames and political rumors to end all political rumors. In the end, we decide it is the last elegiac website on the Internet.

It's not until I hit Weslaco on our return trip that breathing again comes easily. By late afternoon, we're sitting in the lovely patio of the coffee shop Savory's Perks, taking in the evening breezes while trying like crazy to come up with a title that'll fit the fear & loathing tale of a website known as El Rocinante. As I lift my cup of coffee for a needed sip, it is the haunting, guttural whinny of an aging black horse trotting by that scares the Holy Hell out of me...

- 30 -  

In Lovely Harlingen, One More Dizzying Ride Aboard the Wobbling Political Merry-Go-Round...

By ELIOT ELCOMEDOR
Editor

HARLINGEN, Texas - At the risk of being labeled obsessed interlopers, we once again venture into the white-hot politics of this Mid-Valley community struggling to find a wheel without the proverbial broken spokes. It is that kind of rolling political season here, only the latest imbroglio appears to be boiling in isolated kettles sitting on fires far, far from the mainstream press.

Last night, the Harlingen City Commission considered a variety of issues, one being the annexation of property and another being an up-or-down vote on the creation of a noble Veterans Advisory Board. To some the latter was enough reason to take a seat in the audience on what was a hot & muggy afternoon. And when it came time to vote on the new board, well, some Hell broke loose. Things were said about the need for yet another citizen board in town, things the vets in attendance did not like.

One of the city's five commissioners - Kori Marra - no doubt left feeling like Hamburger Hill must have felt that day in Vietnam - chewed to pieces. Verbal missiles were launched at her and she fired back, to the point that, for many in the crowd, she came off looking like a rabid anti-veterans pol. This morning, the commissioner with barely a year of experience went on the offensive (we almost wrote "Tet Offensive," but that would be too cute, although Vietvets would know what we mean).

Bloggers arriving at MyHarlingenNews.com weren't happy. They lashed her mercilessly in comment after comment that centered on what they perceived was a lack of sympathy for the men and women in uniform. She raced over to the more-sympathetic MyLeaderNews.com, where she posted a lengthy explanation of her role in the City Hall advisory board melee. Marra insisted she had not voted against the veterans board, a contention raised by the many commenters who had waited for dawn to launch their all-out attack. But just as steadfast as is her belief, so is the one being brandished by her opponents, most of whom opine that the politics she practices are the petulant politics of her West Texas hometown.

As the dust became a mushroom cloud in the city's Blogosphere and then settled like an Army blanket hating the winters of Korea, it was the revelation that the local newspaper - The Valley Morning Star - had not one word of the veterans-Marra fray. Not one. The newspaper had a nice explanatory story covering the annexation issue. It also had a story on news that a second Chick-fil-A eatery was coming to town.

The principal question on the minds of the Star's editors was not whether Commissioner Marra had dissed local veterans. No, the poll being taken on the Star's website posed this sentient question: Will you eat at Chick-fil-A?

At noon today, 35% of respondents had voted...No.

And so it goes in the wallowing city adjacent to the growing city known as Mercedes...

- 30 -

ON THE CLOCK: Former Newsman Bill Young Will Now Take Our Questions...

By JOSHUA COFFMAN
Special to The Tribune

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - When he was star reporter for Channel 4 in Harlingen back during the Urban Cowboy days, Bill Young liked to go "TeeVee," using catch-phrases such as "Behind me is the Gulf of Mexico..." and "I'm standing in front of City Hall..." Indeed, Young cut a wide reportorial swath across Cameron County back then. Today, he is a better-paid spokesman for the City of Brownsville. 

(1.) As Public Information Officer, what would you say is your biggest challenge?

Getting news outlets interested in items that I know I would have covered while I was in the news racket; all it takes is a little imagination to turn a relatively simple set of facts into an interesting, informative and sometimes amusing piece. I see not much effort to follow up. I always thought this was a news person’s bread-and-butter: keeping a story alive and taking it as far as possible. My editors/producers in print and ENG were big on follow-up.

(2.) What is your assessment of the region's news media?

Was it Mark Twain who remarked about youth “being wasted on the young?” So it is with most of the local crop of news gatherers. To my way of thinking, a lack of experience shows itself perhaps first and foremost in the failure to check up on even the most simple detail. I have heard TV folks say “Corpse” instead of “core” when pronouncing corps. I have read their copy stating that the FAA was going to investigate this crash or that crash, not bothering to find out that it is the NTSB. Sometimes I respond by e-mail, but almost never get a reply.

(3.) Do you believe Brownsville gets a fair shake elsewhere in the RGV? (from politicians, business, perceptions on the part of residents of, say, McAllen and Harlingen)

Brownsville, to my way of thinking, is unique in South Texas. First, Brownsville has a past, a real past. None of the others do with the possible exception of Edinburg stemming from its days when it was where Hidalgo is now. Since Brownsville has a past, it also has a rich history (Brownsville had an opera house and fire department when almost all of the RGV was brush and jacals.) Brownsville, like New Orleans, has a rich culture based on a mixture of cultures, not to mention the first battle of the Mexican War and the last battle of the Civil War. In my humble opinion, the rest of the Valley cannot reconcile itself to the fact that Brownsville is, well, Brownsville. It is a historic gem by anyone’s description. Has it always been that “way?” Yes. It is interesting that the first mayor, Israel B. Bigelow, was thrown out of office because of his shady way of living and because illegal aliens are said to have voted for him in that 1850 election. To the others, Brownsville remains a never-never land and is always good for a shake of the head.

(4.) When RGV residents living away from Brownsville think of the city, they bring up images of corrupt politicians. What would change that imagery?

This perception could be easily changed. All that it would take is one or two-terms of a City Commission free of rancor, pathos, plotting, scheming, personal hatreds and battles that are fought on live TV instead of behind closed doors. Don’t get me wrong, there are some dedicated commissioners now. There are some who refuse to let personalities enter into the discourse. A couple of years of that and the water would clear.

(5.) If not Brownsville, what other RGV city would you like to serve as PIO?

Having worked here for so many years on both the supply side and the demand side of the news, I don’t know if I could work anywhere else as PIO. At this stage of my life it would take a lot to get me to risk it. If I absolutely had to, had to, it would probably be Port Isabel...

- 30 -

For Troubled BP, South Texas May Just Be A Legal Goldmine...

By RICARDO KLEMENT
Staff Writer

McALLEN, Texas - In Big Time legal circles, lawyers call the practice "judge-shopping," and one lawyer believes lawsuit-strapped British Petroleum (BP) is looking to South Texas for sympathetic courts.

"They want judges who will be familiar with the industry, and those are the judges in South Texas, where oil and mineral cases are common," says Florida Lawyer Mike Papantonio. He made his remarks on the MSNBC show Hardball yesterday, although he has been saying it on his radio show, Ring of Fire, heard across the country via AirAmerica syndication.

Papantonio (shown in photo above) believes BP will do all it can to take trials (of liability, wrongdoing, etc., etc) away from the southeast coast. Attorney generals in Mississippi and Alabama have said they will fight efforts to by BP to move trials elsewhere in the country.

"It could be Houston judges they want, but South Texas would also be good, in their eyes," Papantonio said.

Interesting. We can't recall a case of this magnitude coming to the Rio Grande Valley...

- 30 -

Except For Lone Loyal Ally, World Condemns Israel's Midnight Attack on Aid Flotilla Bound For Gaza Strip...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to The Tribune

McALLEN - It is admittedly a world away, but something rankles us when we hear of Israel attacking anybody. True, it is a country with a long, long history of being on the short end of things, that horrible adventure in Germany being high on the list. But this latest assault by Israeli forces on an aid flotilla headed for blockaded Gaza cannot help things for the starcrossed Jewish people.

This latest episode began sometime after midnight Sunday, when Israeli commandos dropped-in on a seven-boat flotilla carrying some 10,000 pounds of aid for residents living without basic goods and materials. According to the aid group sponsoring the flotilla, activists aboard their ships were armed only with basic self-defense weaponry. Israel, meanwhile, said its commandos descended on the flotilla's main ship carrying only "paint ball" pistols and small arms. In all nine flotilla members were killed, most of them from Turkey, the location of the flotilla's departure port. Israel said seven of its commandos were wounded in the hours-long deck fighting.

What makes it an even worse public relations nightmare for Israel is the acknowledged fact that the flotilla was not carrying weapons of any sort, a contention Israel has used in the past to stop boats headed for Hamas-controlled Gaza. Without the aid flotilla, residents of the city of Gaza and outlying villages in the Gaza Strip have relied on minimal survival shipments via Egypt.

In this country, President Obama expressed regret upon hearing of the assault and resulting battle at sea. In recent weeks, a rift of sorts has developed between President Obama and headstrong Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu centered on Israel's continue desire to tighten the vice on the Palestinians - action the U.S. considers not helpful in the search for peace in the region. What's worse, the world knows that Israel gets its military supplies and a sizable foreign aid package from the United States - a perception that, says Washington, D.C., only fuels anti-American sentiment abroad.

As some 600 activists were being detained in the Israeli coastal city of Ashdod, word surfaced that another aid ship had sailed from the coast of Italy for Gaza. Still, Israeli stayed with the fight. Said Israeli Navy commander, in an article published by The Jerusalem Post: "Next time, we'll use more force."

And while Netanyahu did not issue any comments, Israeli Deputy Foreign Minister Danny Ayalon took a hard line, saying the protesters have links to Al Qaeda. He discounted reports that the flotilla's main ship -  Mavi Marmara - was part of a "Freedom Flotilla" carrying medical and school supplies, and construction materials to the besieged Gaza Strip.

The blockade has been in place since 2007. In numerous declarations issued during the past two years, Israel has vowed to enforce the blockade. It considers the seemingly benevolent flotilla organization - Insani Yardin Vakfi, AKA I.H.H. - a dangerous Islamic group with terrorist connections.

Netanyahu, meanwhile, had been scheduled to meet with President Obama today. Instead, he hurriedly returned to Jerusalem. There, he expected to deal with harsh condemnation of his country's action lodged by most members of the United Nations, including its regional allies Turkey and Egypt. The United States did not join in the condemnation.

The blockade initially was supported by Egypt as a way of putting pressure on Hamas, the radical government that took over the Gaza Strip three years ago. Israel has also said that it wishes to punish Hamas for the kidnapping of Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit. He was captured in a 2006 cross-border raid and remains in the hands of Hamas, or so the Israelis believe...

 - 30 -

Mayor Wears Mexican Flag To Memorial Day Ceremony: Big Deal, or No Big Deal?...

By RON MEXICO
Staff Writer

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Not a word of it was printed in the local newspaper, but it seems some people went nuts here yesterday when Mayor Pat Ahumada arrived at a Memorial Day ceremony wearing a black shirt sporting the Mexican flag. So, on this lovely Tuesday morn, is this unnervingly silly, or is this merely the mayor being the mayor?

Action 4 News, the CBS affiliate in Harlingen, had the story, and it wasn't pretty for the popular mayor. Some 300 mourners gathered at Brownsville Veterans Park, where sobbing veterans and others grieving the loss of their family members expressed shock at seeing the Mayor's garb - a Mexican flag patch on the upper left sleeve of his Harley-Davidson motorcycle shirt. According to Channel 4, some veterans called the patch "offensive," yet not one was willing to go on camera, as they say in TV News.

"To see the mayor have a flag that is Mexico, I think that he's telling us what?" Martha Shears, the wife of a 32-year veteran told the TV crew. "Actually he should be in Mexico, and it is embarrassing."

Asked about the patch, Ahumada said: "Protocol is that if you wear it in the right its disrespect. This has to do with a motorcycle club I'm going to ride with after this parade."

So, big deal...or no big deal?

"I'm an American," the mayor said. "I'm a patriot. I love my country. I serve my city."

Perhaps it wasn't a big deal. Maybe it was just a slow news day for excitable Action 4 News. There was not one word about this in The Brownsville Herald. Some in town will say it is no big deal, as Brownsville, they will tell you, is the Most-Mexican of the many Rio Grande Valley communities...

- 30 -

SEMPER FI: On This Memorial Day, A Brave Soldier's Story...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to The Tribune

McALLEN, Texas - The story of Sgt. Rafael Peralta will drive you to tears - some out of total sympathy and most out of sheer anger. Sgt. Peralta, a native of Mexico and a resident of San Diego when he enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps, was killed in November, 2004 during the Second Battle of Fallujah, Iraq following the U.S. invasion. He was 25 years old.

What followed was a request by Marines who had been in battle with him that he be awarded the Medal of Honor - the nation's highest military award. Peralta, they said, had fallen on a grenade and saved the lives of six or seven members of his squad. His story is well-known in Southern California and among Marines who say medals awarded for valor in Iraq have been slow in coming. The issue is taken up in a story included in this weekend's New York Times Magazine titled, "What Happened to Valor?"

Peralta, who gained citizenship while in the Marines, was buried at the National Cemetery in San Diego with full military honors. And then his mother, Rosa Peralta, was informed her son (shown in photo above) would be recommended for the Medal of Honor.

But a review ordered by Defense Secretary Robert Gates that included autopsy reports by doctors assessing Peralta's wounds eliminated Peralta from the medal, with Gates telling Rosa Peralta that doctors could not verify the Marines' account. Instead, Gates said Sgt. Rafael Peralta would be receiving the Navy Cross, the second-highest American military award given to a Marine.

Rosa Peralta told Gates he could go to Hell.

Her anger: The Navy Cross citation had this written on it: "Without hesitation and with complete disregard for his own personal safety, Sergeant Peralta reached out and pulled the grenade to his body, absorbing the brunt of the blast and shielding fellow Marines only feet away."

George Sabga, Rosa Peralta's lawyer and himself a former Marine, said this to the magazine: "I asked the general, 'How can you say that there were doubts and yet you give us a Navy Cross that says that Sgt. Peralta did the exact same thing that the (fellow) Marines say he did?' "

For Rosa Peralta, a chance to bring better closure to her son's death ended in military bureaucracy not open to appeal. Lawyer Sabga nonetheless says he will continue the fight for Peralta's Medal of Honor, that Marines from across the country are coming to Sgt. Peralta's side.

No one disputes that Peralta served the United States with enthusiasm. There are other signs of his patriotism, examples that clearly showed he loved America. Three items hung on his bedroom walls inside his family's home: a copy of the United States Constitution, the Bill of Rights and his boot camp graduation certificate. And in the days before he shipped out for Iraq, he wrote this for his 14-year-old brother: "Be proud of me, bro...and be proud of being an American."

- 30 -

When the Night Comes Calling: In Brownsville, One More Crazy Move...

By RICARDO KLEMENT
Staff Writer

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - What is it about this town? Why some sort of idiocy every week? Where did it go wrong? Blame is a hydra-headed serpent for the 120,000 love-starved residents of this bordertown known for doing the Funky Chicken with one musical note that repeats itself for decades and decades.

Now comes the district attorney to muddle that civics lesson denizens of this burg carry in their skulls like a .22 caliber bullet doing its damndest to rip through still-evolving brains. D.A. Armando Villalobos, no relation to Luca Brasi, wants to remove Mayor Pat Ahumada from office. The reason is as clear as a second-day rain on one of those late-November deluges arriving in a cyclic gray, light-gray, dark-gray, gray, light-gray, dark-gray, gray.

This is what Villalobos wrote in a statement released to the press this weekend, after noting tht he had requested and been given police files related to a DWI arrest of the mayor last May 11th: "We additionally intend to look into the removal statutes. We are making inquiries into the procedures that (the city of) Brownsville has adopted for removal."

For Ahumada (shown in photo above), it was one more ride on the political merry-go-round that just won't let him get off. He had little to say yesterday when contacted by crackerjack reporter Emma Perez-Trevino of The Brownsville Herald.

"Mr. Villalobos is the DA and is at liberty to speak anyway he wants," said the Falstaffian mayor. "I am the defendant. As the defendant, I defer all comment to my attorney."

Being the defendant in the B-grade flick that is Brownsvile is nothing new for the mayor, which may be why Villalobos wishes to erase the mayor's election. Oddly, the mayor's attorney, the indefatigable Star Jones, declined to comment.

Prior to his most recent arrest, Ahumada had stood trial on charges of felony theft. Something about a $26,000 check written by the City of Brownsville for an East Coast vendor that somehow found itself into the mayor's bank account. Ahumada was found not guilty, however. The mayor does count two other DWI charges, one resulting in a conviction and the other a dismissal.

What may be motivating the DA is anybody's guess, although rumors run wild here that Villalobos has higher political ambitions. Taking down the popular mayor may be seen as a feather in his hat by his camp.

But can the DA render an election null and void? Can he overturn a vote for something as silly as a DWI? A DWI charge in the Rio Grande Valley is the equal of a jaywalking charge elsewhere. As Perez-Trevino deftly noted, Brownsville is a home-rule city governed by a charter, which specifically provides for recall elections to remove any member of the commission. A unilateral removal of the mayor may not sit well with the revolutionary types here. Ahumada, as well, has been known to take up a fight placed before him.

Still, the pudgy Villalobos is steadfast, saying he will study the state procedures for removal of the mayor, "then will proceed with the basic removal procedures set forth by the State of Texas that proscribe removal from office for public intoxication."

Pending resolution of the mayor's last arrest, it would seem something of a cart-before-the-horse approach by DA Villalobos. The question hangs like a dark, foreboding cloud over the city: Will Villalobos undo the people's will?

He's been known to be a petulant public servant himself...

- 30 -

For Rio Grande Valley Residents, A Wish For Physically-Fit Cops...

By JOHN MONTOYA
Special to The Tribune

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Yes, of course we've heard about city cops who wake up screaming for a free donut, usually a jelly-filled. And, then, yeah there they are at the donut shop, or at the Tex-Mex eatery where the owner offers free coffee and as many tortillas as a cop'll eat. At noon, it's no doubt a tamale plate chased with a hefty bowl of menudo. Supper is a plate of six-eight chicken tacos with the family.

Police in the Rio Grande Valley will tell you they can't help but gain weight.

Well, their brethren in Mexico City have a few words for our heavyset fuzz: diets, as in required dieting ordered by city administrators tired of seeing portly, basketball-sized bellies on the men in blue (see photo above). Mexico City is checking calories and placing fat cops on notice that their jobs are at risk. Jeepers, creepers, it's gotta be Hell to live in a land where tacos and enchiladas rule. How can you talk calories when discussing Mexican food? Look around. Your cops are eating extremely well!

Here, in the lovely Rio Grande Valley's Most-Mexican town, citizens have long seen their officers puff-out as their tenure grows. "If they're not stopping for a snack, they're refusing to step out of their air-conditioned cruisers cause it's too hot," said one resident whose wild laughter belied his seriousness.

Not that things get better in nearby Harlingen or McAllen uprange. Cops in the Rio Grande Valley, spanning towns from Rio Grande City to the far west to South Padre Island barely miles northeast of here, get paid well and so they eat well. There was the story about the small Valley town where its police department had a designated "panson," a title speaking solely to gluttony.

So, which RGV community has the thinnest, in-shape cops?

That's a damned good question...

- 30 -

In The Breezy City of Palms, A Blossoming Cry For More Palms...

By RON MEXICO

Staff Writer

McALLEN - Here, in the cradle of the Rio Grande Valley's forward-thinking philosophy, it is an age-old scrap that has the population branching out to take sides: McAllen's abandoned botanical gardens is doing its damndest to make a comeback worthy of Cleopatra's flings following Julius Caesar's assassination that fateful day in Rome.

At issue: This fast-growing city of 110,000 desperately wants a national tennis center where Big Time tournaments - college and otherwise - would bring tourist money to the City of Palms. Behind that push is Mayor Richard Cortez (shown in photo). Fighting against it is a new group of McAllenites apparently thinking that, yeah, there may just be enough concrete and asphalt anything in town already, and, sure, why not opt for a little grassy knoll here and there.

As reporter Sean Gaffney put in a recent edition of The Monitor: Victorious in their campaign to save McAllen’s Botanical Gardens from a tennis compound, eco-minded activists plotted strategy earlier this week for what could prove to be more difficult than swaying an election: persuading the city to reopen the long-neglected park. The group's name sounds neat: McAllen Parks and Habitat Preservation Coalition.

And then he quoted a local woman who put things in perspective: “The hardest thing for us to do now is to keep the ball rolling,” Marilyn LaMantia, a McAllen native, said in a meeting held by the group. “Now we need to be responsible and develop it.”

Botanical gardens are the rage across the country. In theory, they are supposed to be respites from the noise and hullabaloo of a city-on-the-move. You know, the traffic, the construction, the road rage, the neighborhood spats, the entire symphony of Life.

McAllen folks want a patch of Earth, and that is what they are telling the mayor. Tennis can go elsewhere, they say. Slapping of fuzzy-covered balls is a racket they do not wish for this burgeoning community now used to getting what it wants, whether it be new cafes, new stores, new coffee shops, new magazines, new people, new cars, new homes, new everything.

"There really is no place where a guy can go fall on a nice grassy hill under some tree shade and just flake-off for an hour or so," said another resident. "We need a nice, well-maintained park like that."

If the mayor is listening, he isn't saying...

- 30 -

In Feisty Harlingen, Smalltown Hubbub Roils The Community...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to The Tribune

HARLINGEN, Texas - The Waffle House here is not exactly The Havana Cafe in Mexico City or The Palm Lounge in Brownsville, places where locals gather to coldly and unmercifully dissect politicians, especially the recalcitrant ones who would rather operate in the dark and with impunity.

Noise moving up and down city streets and cafe counters has it that the Harlingen City Commission is taking on the air of one of those Lebanese or Japanese government bodies where harsh words always lead to shoe-throwings and punches thrown willy-nilly. Here, you say with incredulity. In lonely, oft-ignored Harlingen? Here? Here in the town the rest of the Rio Grande Valley forgot? Here?

Yes, here. Seems, as they say in westerns, that schoolmarm - uh - Commissioner Kori Marra has riled a hornet's nest with her style of governing. Caustic, say critics. More than caustic, scream others. Talk has it that she disliked the Harlingen Post website. The Post is gone. We don't follow every word said or written about any RGV pol, but weird stuff about Madam Marra keeps, uh, coming up. Is it merely the idle work of her critics? She's a pleasant looking lady, from what we can see - sort of a cross between CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric and Brownsville City Commissioner Melissa Zamora. And, we're told, she's only been a commissioner for one (1) year, hardly enough time to ruffle even a dead bird's feathers.

Yet, there it is - a burgeoning catfight between what locals call the Old Guard (including Mayor Chris Boswell) and a new breed of city commissioner, those elected in the most recent races. So, who knows? All we hear is what we hear. In our effort to get to know Madam Marra a bit better, we engaged her in an Email chat to do with a few softball questions we wanted her to address. She declined, or at least did not respond following her decision to do it. It's just something we don't associate with a realtor, which we hear is her profession. Realtors are trained to consider requests of all kinds, at all hours.

We handed her five (5) questions. Five!

We're still waiting for her responses, even as sleepy, little Harlingen burns...

- 30 - 

[Editor's Note: We are told by a reliable source that Commissioner Marra's first campaign treasurer was the spouse of The  Harlingen Post's operator. As happened, says our source, it was when comments critical of her bid grew in number that the treasurer asked her husband to shut down the website. We're open to reading/posting Ms. Marra's version of this tidbit...]

In South Texas, An Annual Fight Against The Hot, Blistering Sun...

By ELIOT ELCOMEDOR
Editor

SOUTH PADRE ISLAND, Texas - Yeah, we know summer doesn't get here officially until June 21st. But, Hell, it's hot as, well, Hell already. I feel it. You feel it. We all feel it. Temps are in the 90s now, with humidity just as high, which spells discomfort and everything that comes with it, like anger in the kitchen, rage in the streets and prayer in the churches.

But it, too, is a time for slowing down. Yeah, amble over to the AC control and set it at 76 degrees in the daytime and 78 at night. Lose the polyester clothing. Get a freakin' haircut. Go slow on the booze. Don't get physical with the Old Lady in the afternoon. Breathe deeper. Have sex standing up.

Yes, this is the Season of The Sun.

Okay, so who is the woman in the photo atop this posting? If you looked at it hard and said, "Why, that's...that's my Old Lady!"...well, head for this Island of Weekend Sinning and throw some sand on both of yourselves. Find her, do the lost-little-puppy act she loves, then join her in a dash to the cool waters of the Gulf of Mexico for a soaking. She'll tell you it's cool to feel that certain wetness between your legs...

- 30 -      

In The Nooks & Crannies of The Rio Grande Valley's Backroads, A Man Finds His Palate in Birding...

By RICARDO KLEMENT
Staff Writer

SAN JUAN, Texas - We were halfway through a late-afternoon snack at a place called La Mejicana when someone said the Rio Grande Valley just can't get past chicken tacos and nachos as the fare of choice. Tacos, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. On weekends, often at 2 Ayem at one of those 24-hour taquerias where you see the dispossessed arrive in ragged khaki pants and the pretty people in fancy evening gowns. We are in a rut.

The other day, while driving up and down U.S. 83 like a moron and looking for a new place to stop and taste different grub, it hit me that perhaps it's time someone went goddamned wild and introduced some new dishes to Valley cooks and chefs. I could use some pheasant. Sure. And maybe some yak. Who knows? Crocodile nuggets could be The Next Big Thing in the RGV.

All I know this morning is that I must have eaten six-seven cows one fajita plate at a time. And maybe that's why my skin has turned leathery, although it has saved me from the wrinkling effects of the bright South Texas suns. I swear most women here look like they've been to the desert and back. Yeah, maybe more seafood would help. I mean, we're here on the lip of the Gulf of Mexico, so...

Tonight, I'm going for a new plate of something or another. Bird, yeah. Serve me a bird, honeybuns. Yeah, a whole one, head included. I wanna try something else. No, no salsa, no chips, no tortillas. Hand me the silverware and bring me the appropriate wine. I'm a new kind of freakin' birder, baby...

- 30 - 

In England, One Helluva Mess Offers Glimpse Into Grubby Royal Life...

By AMARANTE CORDOVA
Special to The Tribune

HARLINGEN, Texas - A woman serving this city's government lately has become the punching bag of numerous pundits, including one who called City Commissioner Kori Marra a "Dragon Lady" after seeing her in action at Harlingen City Commission meetings. Headstrong lady this real estate woman, yes. But, really, eh...there are tough female cookies all across the rough & tumble Rio Grande Valley, a land where women, like their men, now sport the look of weathered saddles thrown atop range fencing that goes for miles and miles.

But it could be worse for our women.

They could go silly and take-on the business acumen of the Brit Sarah Ferguson (shown in photo above). The princess is in deep menudo over across the Atlantic, where the population now agonizes over Sarah's involvement in a plot to sell access to her former husband, Prince Andrew. The English cry: Sale of Royals! Wow and double wow. This morning, a remorseful Sarah is acknowledging the contents of a video taped by the scandal-happy Weekly News of The World - a publication owned by Gonzo Journalist Rupert Murdoch of Fox News fame.

So, what's this all about? Not much. It's just the latest do-nothing Royal mining the sentiments of the commoners for quick cash. In this case, the video shows Sarah asking for a half-million dollars in exchange for an introduction to the prince, a man who, according to reports, dabbles in helping bring Big Business to the island country. According to Sarah, she is being forced to live on a mere $21,000 in annual support awarded by a court following her divorce from Randy Andy.

A half-million smackeroos for access. Seems something, yeah. And, sure, it's sad that it took a news organization's juicy plot to bring her greed to light. But, then, she is a Royal, or a woman still aligned with the Queen of England. And, as Flapper-era novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald noted a few years back, the rich, well, the rich are different.

Something, however, tells me Prince Andrew was in on this cheap scam...Perhaps the flirty Queen, as well. Those Royals are used to getting cash for doing nothing...

- 30 -

[EDITOR'S NOTE: We do not as yet know Harlingen City Commissioner Kori Marra. But we have extended an invitation that she answer a few questions for us, so that we can provide publicity for her philosophy on governing the sleepy municipality between McAllen and Brownsville.]

In The Hardluck Mayor's Hometown, A Rumbling of Posturings...

By RON MEXICO

Staff Writer

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - The couple seated at a nearby table couldn't help but be loud. Thanks to the noisy joint, one had to raise one's voice to be heard, even across the dinner table. "I don't know," the man was saying in one one of those late-night flick voices. You know, deep and haunting, uttered as if from the gutter. I strained to listen, cause I hadn't heard the woman's question.

She repeated it.

"What will Brownsville be like after the mayor is kicked out of office?" she posed, eyebrows lifted to the low ceiling. This was thrown out seconds before she inhaled deeply and sat back on the table's chair. Her companion made a face and shook his head. "You don't know?!" asked the woman.

"No," he said tersely. "I don't know, and no one else knows, okay?"

The scene could have been one out of any political movie, one where the mayor finds himself in a world-class mess. Pat Ahumada, the mayor of this border town of some 120,000 love-starved souls, has been in some sort of mess or another during the last six-eight months. Booze grabbed him last, or so goes the allegation. Ahumada was arrested and the tale was that overweight city cops had nabbed him drunk behind the wheel of his vehicle. It was enough to bring out what locals call El Chisme.

Will the mayor serve out his term, which expires next year, or will he resign and bid farewell to a city he surely believes is snakebit? No one knows, and no one is talking.

WWAD: What will Ahumada do?...And what about the whispers on the Internet and the talk in the hair salons and bars? Candidates are said to be waiting on filing day. Two of them are the mayor's colleagues on the Brownsville City Commission. WWAD?...

- 30 -

For Fabled New York Writers Room, It's The End of Typewriters...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Special to The Tribune

NEW YORK - The thing about Greenwich Village here is that its creative energy flows freely, from bars, to cafes, to musty hallways of the aging brownstone apartment buildings, to the streets. Great songs are written here, as are beautiful stories, for books and magazines, as are absolutely gorgeous love letters. Usually, it all begins with a beer or a glass of wine, perhaps a moment of sheer flirtation with some foreign woman in town for a few months.

Then there is the Writers Room in the heart of the Village not far from the White Horse Pub where Edgar Allen Poe used to drink himself silly. Writers using the facilities pay $29 a week for access to neat, private cubicles there on Broadway, near Astor Place. It's been here forever and is said to have attracted the likes of Bob Dylan and John Phillips of The Mamas and The Papas and the poet Ted Hughes. For the longest part of its existence, the Writers Room was somewhat noisy in the same way that newsrooms used to be noisy - that click-clack-clacking of typewriter keys dominating sound.

But no more.

The Writers Room recently let it be known that typewriters would no longer be allowed in the premises. The reason: laptop users complained that typewriters were too noisy, that they made it difficult to think and, thus, write. It's another sign of progress.

In any case, that is how this tale is being framed...

- 30 -