In Ditzy Michele Bachmann, The Republican Party Has Its Latest Clown...This One Is A Nut Case...

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ
Editor of The Tribune

AUSTIN, Texas - Politics allows for the best and the brightest, the stupid and the dullest. That is so once more as the country dives into its season of presidential politics. Take a seat. It's all coming to you for the next year and a half. As a citizen, you've bought the ticket, now take the ride, as someone famous once wrote about life in these United States. Even God is coming.

We bring you daffy Michele Bachmann in this episode of Republicans Gone Nuts.

Yeah, that's Michele in the anachronistic Annette Funicello hairdo. Some throwback. Bachman and her politics go back to the Crusades, to a time on the planet when religion was the opium of the masses, to a time when being an atheist brought quick beheading, when being Gay brought even worse.

Bachmann is one of the GOP's brighter stars as the party of racism gets ready to pick its nominee for the 2012 presidential race against President Barack Obama. Think Sarah Palin is the dumbest on the block? Well, she is dumb. But Bachmann, a congresswoman from Minnesota, is dumb and on crack, if her fiery, Jesus-Is-Everything politics are any indication of drug abuse. She started out as a young woman working on Democrat Jimmy Carter's 1976 campaign, found religion and sailed on to become what she is today - the daughter of a broken marriage who has a Lesbian stepsister, but can't stand the thought her father left her mother and later married a man who brought the Lesbian into her life.

Of such life experiences are priests and white supremacists made. In fact, one of her professors at Oral Roberts University often speaks to supremacists groups. Bachmann says all she did was help him with preparation of one of his Born-Again books. Who knows, but it's ditzy.

In any case, her sudden rise has come thanks to the faddish Tea Party and its incessant rants against the federal government, and namely President Obama. Bachmann chimes-in with her soundbites against everything Obama proposes. Her doings in Congress are largely non-existent, although perhaps she was swayed by Palin's rise after the quitting-Alaskan governor's failed 2008 race alongside the erstwhile GOP foil John McCain.

Bachmann's chief anger is aimed at homosexuals.

This she said while a member of the Minnesota State Senate a few years back: "Any of you who have members of your family in the lifestyle, we have a member of our family that is. This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay."

Interestingly, her stepsister, Helen Lafave, was in the audience, trying, it seems, to somehow get Bachmann to see the other side of the issue, the one that allows for Americans to decide what they'll be even in the world of sexuality.

That blew a family relationship that had LaFave once playing a mentoring role for the younger sibling.

"Helen always liked Michele, always," says Linda Cielinski, one of Bachmann's other stepsisters. "They lived together as teenage girls. They were very close at that time." Bachmann's anti-gay activism, Cielinski says, "was a hit to the gut."

So far, Bachmann has played her acquired conservative role to the hilt. Indeed, she got high marks after her appearance at her party's first candidate's debate last Monday night, edging the shit-for-brains Newt Gingrich and her fellow Minnesotan, former Gov. Tim Pawlenty. But will it last? No.

Former Utah Gov. Jon Hunstman is saying he will enter the race early next week. Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani is said to be pondering a similar decision. There is the front-runner Mitt Romney, who served as governor of Massachusetts. In the men-only scrum that is nominee-selection, Bachmann will fade.

The mountain is a high mountain to climb.

But, then again, perhaps the religious zealot Bachmann is well aware of the Biblical events surrounding Mt. Ararat. Somebody famous beached his Ark there, and the question that still haunts scholars is whether it was a seminal moment in Man's ascent, or whether it was something that never happened at all.

Bachmann, it says here, will become the proverbial blip on the radar screen, forgotten in the long run, seen down the road as something that may have happened, only finding anyone who remembers may be hard. Religious fanatics have a tendency of dropping-in on Americans. More recently, televangelist Pat Robertson tried his hand at national politics and got zip. So did Mike Huckabee, the Born-Again former governor of backward Arkansas. And these heaven aficionados have their place, just not as leader of the entire damned experiment that is the U.S. of A.

The name of that Ark dude is still a name to be reckoned with, although perhaps not as much as it was, say, 50 years ago. Bachmann will come to find that many, many Americans hate having someone else shove religion down their throats. It seems to work for the God-abandoned Tea Party faithful she fronts, but the country also has a habit of pooh-poohing fairy tales, even those offerred on Sunday mornings...

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