Special to The Tribune
BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Yes, of course we've heard about city cops who wake up screaming for a free donut, usually a jelly-filled. And, then, yeah there they are at the donut shop, or at the Tex-Mex eatery where the owner offers free coffee and as many tortillas as a cop'll eat. At noon, it's no doubt a tamale plate chased with a hefty bowl of menudo. Supper is a plate of six-eight chicken tacos with the family.
Police in the Rio Grande Valley will tell you they can't help but gain weight.
Well, their brethren in Mexico City have a few words for our heavyset fuzz: diets, as in required dieting ordered by city administrators tired of seeing portly, basketball-sized bellies on the men in blue (see photo above). Mexico City is checking calories and placing fat cops on notice that their jobs are at risk. Jeepers, creepers, it's gotta be Hell to live in a land where tacos and enchiladas rule. How can you talk calories when discussing Mexican food? Look around. Your cops are eating extremely well!
Here, in the lovely Rio Grande Valley's Most-Mexican town, citizens have long seen their officers puff-out as their tenure grows. "If they're not stopping for a snack, they're refusing to step out of their air-conditioned cruisers cause it's too hot," said one resident whose wild laughter belied his seriousness.
Not that things get better in nearby Harlingen or McAllen uprange. Cops in the Rio Grande Valley, spanning towns from Rio Grande City to the far west to South Padre Island barely miles northeast of here, get paid well and so they eat well. There was the story about the small Valley town where its police department had a designated "panson," a title speaking solely to gluttony.
So, which RGV community has the thinnest, in-shape cops?
That's a damned good question...
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15 comments:
None, all the cops are big and fat, they eat tacos like crazy, ham and eggs, and they don't exercise, never mind that the tax-payers buy them expensive excercise equpiment.
Bieing fat in the Valley, is very common, men and women included.
Pura Lonja, puros viejos Y viejas pansonas que no se cuidan.
John Montoya, wow, Brownsville has two, Juan and John??? I know one writes for the rruunn rrunn, blog.
ANONS: (1.) The City of Hidalgo has a sprinkling of physically-eccentric cops, as does Weslaco and Mercedes. I'm sure there are others. (2.) John Montoya is not Juan Montoya... - Editor
How about the panzones who were in charge of strip-searching the Mayor on his night of whiskey sippin? Them bad boys are obvious tacobenders. They consume so much maza that they gotta take laxatives to defacate.
jalisco
ANON: Yes, that was a sad sight to see. Mayor Ahumada being busted by such horrible excuses for good health. Cops are a community's face. They should not be fat, no. Never. Fat cops cannot possibly catch, say, purse-snatchers, skateboarders, store thieves, drunks, gate-crashers, puppy-killers, etc., etc. We were in Germany recently and we never saw a fat cop... - Editor
elliot, for heavens sake, being fat in the Valley is hip. Don't you know. Just look in the rest. Everybody eating, mexican plates, chile rellenos, tacos de fajita with rice and beans. Flautas, sweet bread and the police depts. they put away the tacos, bacon and eggs, tortillas de arina and on and on. Puro panza. Men and Women, they are all FAT and Fatter and Fattest and on and on.
MaryLou: Yes, you're right. We have learned that being a "Hippie" means something else down here. But it's a bit weird seeing all these women with barrels for butts and men wearing size X-TRA/XX-TRA large Polo shirts that make then look like waddling water towers. I'm headed that way, I guess. Love my tacos, and I love finding a new place for them. While driving into Hidalgo the other day, I saw Piporro's Taqueria. You guessed it; I ambled in... - Editor
Not to be to critical, but some of these gys wear the Wranglers two size smaller than the 44 waist and they look, like apples with sticks.
I swear, the Valley has to be not only the fattest place in America but also the worsed dressed place in the nation.
Sometimes, I think I live in India, women with sandals,(wallmart feet) men displaying bodies that are playing ugly. Oh Well, welcome to South Texas. And don't enjoy the tacos too much.
MaryLou: Agreed. The RGV is a tropical paradise, yet the lifestyle and fashion do not reflect that. Why all the anger and the cowboy clothes? I say Hawaiian clothing would be more like it, except that perhaps local criminals would never be caught carjacking or robbing a place in colorful South Pacific garb. Again, it's the influence of neighboring Mexico, isn't it?...- Editor
It must be, something is wrong in this great place we live in.
My daily uniform? Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and my comfy crocs. That's it baby. At 48 years of age, who am I trying to impress?
At this time in my life I've come to realize that comfort is what matters and I do not care one whit if it makes me undateable.
El ChrisRendo
Ese Chris, how about your own health, A heart attack, gets people thinking differently.
At 48, you should be doing at least 300 sit ups a day. Not for my good health or anyone else, but for your self.
At this time in my life I've come to realize that comfort is what matters and I do not care one whit if it makes me undateable
Been hitting the porn tubes huh? Join the party.
jerez
Send Them All Back To their Matamoros Querido. QWe Had been Conquered and Enslaved by our WHITE - ANGLO - SAXON - CAUCASIAN Masters, We obey and Serve Them Good... They are our Saviors from Misery and Ignorance; They Provide us With Muchos FOOD STAMPS , HOUSING, W.I.C. Cards and The REST OF WELFARE " BENEFITS" to Keep us CHICANITOS afraid, In Control and Intimidated, as a Reward fror OUR STOLEN LAND " THE GREAT AZTLAN "!!!
Chichi you have been drinking too much Mezcal, whatever, that is. Calm down, take a zip of tequila and two aspirins and tomorrow you will feel better.
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