Special to The Tribune
HARLINGEN, Texas - Ever since the tire outlet Western Auto left town, this community of some 74,000 souls has lived a life shorn of fun and revelry. It's been forever, in other words.
Now comes next Thursday evening.
Among the better-known residents expected to attend the wild soiree are controversial Private Dick Joe Rubio and, if a search party can find him, former Tribune Editor Eliot Elcomedor. A dozen or so lesser-known locals are also on the invitation list, including several reporters for The Valley Morning Star.
Missing from the list is Deal's blogging nemesis Tony Chapa of MyHarlingenNews.com, as is El Rocinante's Jerry McHale, as is Ed Shultz of MSNBC, as is Ana Nicole Smith.
Cortina's appearance is being handled by the operators of the Matamoros Wax Museum, which has promised to drive the border bandit's body to the party and set him up for photographs alongside a fake palm tree. Efforts to get KVEO commentator Ron Whitlock to do the same were unsuccessful. An employee for the Brownsville TV station (Channel 23) noted Whitlock is still alive.
Emceeing the event will be a Freddy Fender lookalike, with the keynote speech to be delivered by Harlingen City Commissioner Kori Marra, Deal's most loyal reader. "She'll be highlighting his life with a special Powerpoint presentation, as well as raising a toast to the Old Cowboy," said a Deal pal familiar with the bash's arrangements. "It should be a real honest-to-goodness shindig, like those that celebrated Wyatt Earp's birthday."
Scheduled to represent The Tribune is Editor Patrick Alcatraz.
"I'm looking forward to being in Harlingen for Jerry Deal's birthday," said Alcatraz in an Email to this reporter. "I always go to Harlingen when I get tired of people being nice to me..."
The price of admission, this writer was told, will be your brain...
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3 comments:
Mr. editor, Jerry Deal will be 78 years of age, and the old goat is going full blast. Got to handed to that old goat.
Believe it or not, Jerry is a partying man. He will do alrgight.
So Tony was not invited, why am I not surprised. He is probably making up some comments about a f**&ked up theory, and writing it on his blog that no one visits anymore.
ANONYMOUS:...Perhaps Jerry's longevity has something to do with the era of his birth. The early-1930s were turbulent, as was, really, that entire decade. He was born - and grew up - before many of today's technological advances, like air-conditioned cars, cellphones, microwave ovens and the internet, among many, many more. I look at him and see the passage of time, and hope that my own face will one day wear signs of my own hard life. Feliz Cumpleanos, Jerry!... - Editor
Chuck's Ice House, is where the bikers hang out. Jerry why not at Meddusa's lounge?? Oh well, leave it to Jerry Deal, and his bag full of tricks, "have fun".
How about them silly Cowboys, they can't seem to win.
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