THE TRIBUNE: RETURN OF SOMETHING OR ANOTHER:...Patrick Alcatraz Promises Nothing...It's One More Turn Around El Baile Grande...

AMERIQUE:

A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: It is the unspoken statistic, but it is as real as anything to do with the lingering U.S. war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan. According to the military, 1,800 American servicemen have killed themselves since the initial invasion of Baghdad. That is in addition to the more than 4,000 who died in battle. This week, families of the soldiers who committed suicide asked President Barack Obama to change the government policy of not forwarding letters of appreciation to mothers and fathers of these servicemen. By week's end, the White House had reversed the policy and agreed that such letters are needed, as well... - Eduardo Paz-Martinez, Editor of The Tribune

Friday, October 8, 2010

RETURN OF SOMETHING OR ANOTHER:...Patrick Alcatraz Promises Nothing...It's One More Turn Around El Baile Grande...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Editor-In-Chief

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Miss me yet? A guy can leave town for a few days, come back and find that not a goddamned thing has changed in this pitiful land of corrupt under-achievers. Yeah, we're back and say "Hell-o" to your ass, 'cause it'll be on full display here, Baby.

Take a letter, McHale. And exactly when are you going to get to the literary in the Review? Sleepy stories about Nobodies never have moved me.

And why is the town barrister Bobby Wightman-Cervantes tearing Montoya a new anus? Bobby's a savvy crafty dude compared to Pobre Juan. Too cute.

Get that caterer back online. Whoa! Howdy! Someone bring me a jumbo cup of burning black coffee. And turn that fuckin' Charro moaning on loud. I love the smell of tacos in the morning. I'm up for a little stomping across this dusty dance floor. Yeah, haste un lado, PENDEJO! We're decelerating from that great altitude out west, from somewhere better. So, yeah, I'm not all that happy about being back. Roll cameras! A-C-T-I-O-N!!

Here I am, The Most Interesting Man in Town.

Remember, we're not for everybody. But, then, you nopaleros already knew that...

- 30 -

4 comments:

Anonymous said...: Hey, Patrick, welcome back. I thought by now, you would be climbing Mt. St. Helen. Well, glad to hear you guys are back in the saddle again; as the song goes.
I want to make a suggestion, "be critical without mercy, have no mercy on any city or county."
Let's face it, your writers are pit bulls when it comes to writing.(And no one, not even Jerry Deal, Juan Montoya,or Peres-Trevion can deny that.) Again welcome back.; October 8, 2010 at 11:34 AM
Patrick Alcatraz said...: ANON:...We're back, that is correct. And thank you for the kind words.... - Editor; October 8, 2010 at 1:55 PM
Anonymous said...: Y vamonos a bailar tacuachito como dicen en Matamoros. Con toda la vola de tamaleros, que no saben lo que es jabon. epaleee!!!! dame otro round, Chula!!!!; October 9, 2010 at 9:46 PM
Anonymous said...: Mr. Editor, I have been reading the Browsnville Voice, is the editor an attorney?? I noticed he uses a lot of lawyer jargon.
Hey, you are kind of hard on locals, oh well, they needed it.LOL.; October 12, 2010 at 10:42 AM

Gaga Baseball...

Lawmakers Approve Budget...

The Texas House & Senate passed their versions of the 2012-2013 state budget. Both chambers agreed on a $172.5 billion budget, which represents a $15 billion cut in educational programs and public services. In blaming the Republican majority, State Sen. Wendy Davis, a Democrat from Fort Worth, said: "This budget kicks the can of public education and health care funding down the road, with deferrals of current obligations totaling $7.1 billion that will need to be backfilled in the next budget cycle. This is not responsible governance."... - The Tribune

Hard One Fired At Ballteam...

It's been coming for some time, but Harlingen now appears ready to drop the hammer on its local semi-pro baseball team, the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings. Writes team P.R. Man Jerry Deal on his blog: "It all involves the utilities, well the electric utilities, which are exhorbitant and probably twice as high as in other stadiums in the league. The city gets the bill, then bills the ballclub. The WhiteWings have asked that it take over the utilities directly from the supplier, which then the city would not be involved." Deal does not say how much the team owes in delinquent billings. Estimates on the streets have it at the $40,000 range... - The Tribune

The Republican Affair...

Ohio Worse Than RGV...

U.S. Rep. Silvestre Reyes, a Democrat from El Paso, laid into Speaker John Boehner after Boehner said crime along the Mexican border was rampant. Said Reyes, "Boehner should focus on controlling the level of violence in his own state before tarnishing the image of border communities that remain among the safest places to live in America. The fact remains that the six largest cities in Ohio all have higher rates of violence and crime than every major city along the U.S.-Mexico border."... - The Tribune

Perry Goes Begging...

He hasn't worked to create hometown jobs, but Republican Texas Gov. Rick Perry is begging California companies to come to the Lone Star State. "When citizens and employers of a state feel overburdened and unappreciated by state leaders and policies, a common response is to relocate," Perry said in a May 3 letter to companies in Vernon, Ca. "If you care about low taxes, a fair and predictable regulatory and legal climate, high-quality workforce, and a great quality of life, Texas is for you." Some leader. More like a panhandler... - The Tribune

The Graceless Republicans...

Legislators who voted Monday against a resolution commending President Barack Obama for the killing of terrorist Osama Bin Laden were Leo Berman of Tyler, Marva Beck of Centerville, Allen Fletcher of Tomball, Dan Flynn of Van, Will Hartnett of Dallas, Dan Huberty of Houston, George Lavender of Texarkana, Barbara Nash of Arlington, Debbie Riddle of Tomball and Randy Weber of Pearland. Those Republicans were joined by 52 other Republicans who supported the resolution, but went on record as not endorsing the president's foreign policies... - The Tribune

Back In The League...

Disgraced major leaguer Jose Canseco, shown in photo above, has hit Yuma with his usual circus bang. His arrival in the Arizona desert is being seen as a potential boon for the team's always-lagging attendance. But the Yuma Scorpions of the North America Baseball League, which he'll manage, have been a laugh-a-minute outfit. Last year, team officials went weeks without paying players or other obligations around town. Local sportswriters give the team a 50-50 chance of surviving the season... - The Tribune

Redistricting Battles...

One Against Airline...

Dream Act Support...

No To GOP Budget Axe...

President Barack Obama today re-affirmed his opposition to drastic cuts in the federal budget being proposed by Republicans. In an afternoon speech, the president said Medicare, which primarily serves the elderly, would not be cut: "I will preserve these health care programs as a promise we make to each other in this society. I will not allow Medicare to become a voucher program that leaves seniors at the mercy of the insurance industry, with a shrinking benefit to pay for rising costs."... - The Tribune

Comish Marra Booked...

Harlingen City Commissioner Kori Marra, shown in photo above, was booked into Cameron County jail Monday in connection with conflict of interest charges. Marra was released on two $1,000 personal recognizance bonds. The charges stem from a complaint filed by city resident Yolanda Shoffeitt. Ms. Shoffeitt alleges commissioners considered extending a special assessment for businesses in the downtown district during a Sept., 2010 meeting, an area that includes Marra’s real estate office. Although no vote was taken at that meeting, state conflict-of-interest laws prohibit officials from discussing an item in which they have an interest. If convicted of the Class A misdemeanor, she faces up to one year in jail and a fine of $4,000... - The Tribune

The Canseco Show...

Ready for this? The Yuma Scorpions, of the independent North American League, have named Jose Canseco manager and twin brother Ozzie Canseco bench coach and hitting coach. Both brothers will also play. Jose Canseco played in the Rio Grande Valley last season, bringing his disgraced act to Harlingen with the Laredo club that played the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings. His pro career was tainted by steroid use Canseco admitted. What he knows about managing a ballclub is anybody's guess... - The Tribune

House Slashes Budget...

To no one's surprise, the vote on the 2012-2013 state budget in the House of Representatives went largely along party lines. It was 98 Republicans for the bare bones budget and 49 Democrats against it. Only a pair of Republicans, one being former Democrat Aaron Pena of Edinburg, sided with the Democrats. Yesterday's result is a slimmer $164.5 billion version of the state budget. It is a whopping $23 billion less than the current budget, slashing public education and social programs such as Medicaid... - The Tribune

Jake Drops Chapa...

The tireless blogger known to all of us as "Jake," but whose real name is Ralph Garcia, has Emailed us this note: "Alright, Mr. Paz-Martinez. I have advised Mr. Chapa that I will no longer be posting comments to his blog. I will trust that you will not be posting this on your blog, as has been your habit in the past." We replied saying we appreciated his prompt response to our plans of adding him to a lawsuit we are preparing against Tony Chapa. But, after all the inanities he's blogged about us, we told him it was fair that his note should be published on The Tribune. We also told him our lawyer in McAllen would look kindly to his gesture of contrition... - Eduardo Paz-Martinez, Editor of The Tribune

Tapia-Gonzalez Officially Out...

That Rainy Day Fund...

Texas is $27 billion in the red. Republican Gov. Rick Perry hasn't been interested in drawing on the state's $9 billion "Rainy Day" fund. But, yesterday, the Texas House Appropriations Committee voted to take $3.1 billion out of the fund to help cover a deficit in the current two-year budget cycle. But lawmakers must also approve a budget for the next two years, and they're about $23 billion short of the money they need to continue services at their existing levels... - Ricardo Klement, Reporting for The Tribune

Slots At The Track...

A legislative bill to allow slot machines at racetracks and Indian reservations is being filed today. It would allow 13 horse tracks and greyhound tracks around the state to have slot machines. Slots would also be okayed for three Indian reservations in East Texas, South Texas and West Texas. Still, it would take a constitutional amendment with a two-thirds majority in the House & Senate. The matter would then be decided by the voters. Texas would stand to get some $225 million in tax-related revenue... - Nick Ryan, Reporting for The Tribune

The Words of Kori Marra...

Well, this may or may not work as an explanation regarding her federal tax woes. As quoted in an article in the Valley Morning Star, the Harlingen commissioner says: “I’m not arguing with anybody about whether I owe it. I’m ultimately responsible; there’s no question about that. If I owe it, I’m going to pay it. I'm supposed to be perfect because I’m a city commissioner; there is (only) one person who is perfect, and that is God. I’m striving for excellence, just like everybody else. I have to understand that I am not perfect and I hope the citizens understand that I am not perfect.”

Horny Republican Moron...

He's married and has a child, but there was GOP Congressman Christopher Lee looking for a hook-up on Craigslist. He resigned today, lamely saying this: "It has been a tremendous honor to serve the people of Western New York. I regret the harm that my actions have caused my family, my staff and my constituents. I deeply and sincerely apologize to them all. I have made profound mistakes and I promise to work as hard as I can to seek their forgiveness..." - Vince Valdez, Reporting for The Tribune

From The Tribune Emailbag...

This came to us from an individual named Ralph Garcia, with the Email address of: ral-phy15@hotmail.com:

Say DPM, your comment to TCs blog directed to me was deleted. It pissed me off because it happened immediately after I had posted a response. But I'm going along with it. It reminds me of my old job. Where many times my work was ignored because some supervisor thought best of it. I'm sure I've already told you that I'm retired from ICE, right? I'm not a geezer like Deal or even TC, although I don't know how old TC really is. Even though he does act like some kind of senior citizen. But by the photo on his blog, I'm either just a few years younger or around the same age. I'm 55. Anyway, I'm going to stick by TC for the time being. But it is conceivable that I may lose it and go totally against him. We'll see. Oh, and DPM, no hard feelings, alright? Jake.

Juicy Brownsville Stories...

Bobby Wightman-Cervantes, editor of BrownsvilleVoice.blogspot.com, is reporting that local blogger Juan Montoya is presently in Cameron County Jail on charges of Driving While Intoxicated and Reckless Driving. Montoya is the operator of RrunRrun.blogspot.com. Wightman-Cervantes tells his readers Juan may be in jail through the holidays and not see freedom until after New Year's Day. Meanwhile, Montoya ally Jerry McHale is defending his friend against Bobby's "Transparency-In-Blogging" by damning Wightman-Cervantes on the badly-named blog, Brownsville Literary Review. Stay tuned. All of this will soon be a minor motion picture... - Patrick Alcatraz, Editor

Breakfast In Harlingen...

We'd heard much, much about Las Cazuelas restaurant in Harlingen, so we headed out for breakfast Tuesday morning thinking today's a good day for Huevos Rancheros. In the company of my loyal Blogger M, I settled into a booth and enjoyed a superb breakfast that came with black coffee and warm tortillas. M had a bacon & egg taco, with coffee. We were there about an hour shortly after ten ayem. Rosa, the raven-haired lady working the cash register, is a charmer. She wanted to know how I could possibly know her name. I told her I'd asked our waitress... - Patrick Alcatraz

Ah, Wells Fargo...

Illicit Massage...

Weslaco Police have issued a warrant for a 50-year-old man alleged to have raped a woman in her home. A 33-year-old housewife told the fuzz she accepted a friend’s offer to let her husband help relieve leg pain through massage. The masseur treated her initially in the presence of his wife. Later, when he arrived without the wife, he is said to have started the massage, moved too close to her private area, and eventually forced himself on her. The victim reported the rape to police that same day. Cops identified the suspect as Julio C. Perez of Mercedes... - Tony Chapa, Reporting for The Tribune

Drama In Harlingen...

The frail mother of 17-year-old Reynaldo Gonzalez appeared before the Harlingen City Commission Wednesday to decry the failure of the city's police department to properly investigate her son's mysterious death. Maria del Socorro Gallegos was accompanied by local private eye Joe Rubio, who blasted what he says was a sloppy, cursory HPD probe. Rubio said he hopes the woeful investigation had nothing to do with the fact that the woman (identified as Tessa Estrada) alleged to have run over the young man is the niece of HPD Capt. Michael Kester... - Jerry "News" Deal, Reporting for The Tribune

The Crazies Arrive...

The current field of 2012 GOP presidential candidates is pretty boring. You've got several grouchy old men, a pizza magnate, and a walking anal sex joke. So why not a white supremacist? Sure, the GOP has noted xenophobes like Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul, but they lack the panache of an openly racist candidate. But that could soon change, as 1990s throwback David Duke prepares to embark on a tour of 26 states to feel out his chances of putting the "white" back in the White House... - The Tribune

Women Revolt In Austin...

It was a rough, rough day for men yesterday at the State Capitol. Lawmakers got it from State Rep. SenfroniaThompson, who angrily denounced a general atmosphere of sexism in the House. Rep. Carol Alvarado, also a Democrat from Houston, said, "We have had almost 50-plus amendments and or bills come across the floor this session that I think have demeaned women." Republican firebrand Rep. Debbie Riddle, of Tomball, blasted a few of her male colleagues for openly watching porn online while doing the state's business... - The Tribune

Jose, Ozzie Canseco Injured...

The notorious Canseco Brothers, superstars of the fledgling North American Baseball League, are out indefinitely. Ozzie was the first Canseco to go down in the Yuma Scorpions' season opener Tuesday night against the Calgary Vipers, as he strained his left quadriceps in the fifth inning trying to leg out an infield single. Then came Jose, who left the second game of the doubleheader with a left biceps strain after swinging during his at-bat in the bottom of the first. The Scorpions lost the first game 9-5 and rebounded to take the second one 5-2.. - The Tribune

Sanctuary Bill Derailed...

Brit Band Trashes Queen...

Frontman Morrissey of the popular English rock band The Smiths has harsh words for the UK's royal crown. Says he in a recent interview with the Brit press: "The very existence of the Queen and her now enormous family - all supported by the British taxpayer whether the British taxpayer likes it or not - is entirely against any notion of democracy, and is against freedom of speech. For a broad historical view of what the Queen is and how she rules, examine Gaddafi or Mubarak, and see if you can spot any difference." Ouch!... - The Tribune

Report Downs Airline...

Woman Walks Free...

They tried her on charges of masterminding the vicious stabbing of her ex-boyfriend, but she walked free today when a jury said she was not guilty. Guadalupe de Acuña, 38, shown in photo above, was on trial in connection with the murder of 37-year-old Jose Fiscal, her boyfriend at the time. Cops said he was stabbed as many as 45 times in an altercation near Donna Lakes in Hidalgo County. Prosecutors said they were stunned by the verdict. Police ID'd the killer as Juan Salazar, who was convicted earlier... - The Tribune

Buying Green Cards...

Mexican citizen Rosendo Gonzalez, shown at right in photo, sought safety for his drug war-weary family by investing millions in a venture to be based in McAllen. His reward? A green card allowing him to gain U.S. residency. Under the federal EB-5 immigration program, candidates get fast-tracked if they invest a minimum of $500,000 in ventures with the clear prospect of creating jobs. Applicants undergo criminal background checks, and their $500,000 investment is reviewed to make sure it was obtained legally. If foreign investors create 10 jobs within two years, they - along with their spouses and children - get the green cards... - The Tribune

Texas College Students Performing, But Lagging...

"The 2011 Texas Public Higher Education Almanac shows that Texas is on its way to achieving the goals of closing the gaps, but challenges remain. We are doing well in terms of access and participation - enrolling new students - but not so well in terms of student success. Texas higher education continues to improve, but we still lag behind the leading states, and we still have a good distance to travel to assume a position of national and international leadership in higher educational attainment and quality," said Dr. Raymond A. Paredes, Texas Commissioner of Higher Education. The state ranks 34th in student performance when compared to students studying in the nation's other 49 states... - The Tribune

Politicians Armed...

The Senate Criminal Justice Committee has approved a bill by Republican State Sen. Dan Patrick, of Houston, allowing legislators, statewide elected officials, some former legislators and some state employees to carry concealed weapons in bars, churches and hospitals and at sporting events and other places they currently are not allowed - even in businesses where signs clearly say guns are prohibited. Patrick notes he believes elected officials are easy targets for assassins. The Bill now goes to the full senate for debate... - The Tribune

School Employee Cuts...

Faced with the very real prospect of joining a slew of school districts losing state funding because of the massive budget deficit, Harlingen school officials have approved a plan submitted by Superintendent Dr. Steve Flores that has 100 employees leaving the district's payroll. According to Flores, shown in photo above, the action will save HCISD about $4.2 million. Among those lost are 70 professional employees and 30 hourly workers who will get $7,000 per person, or 20 percent of their gross salary, whichever is less. All reportedly volunteered their resignations... - The Tribune

Veterans And Insomnia...

Know a veteran who can't sleep? They're suffering. Sleep disorders are a common problem among veterans, says the National Pain Foundation, and many of the symptoms they suffer - including nightmares, chronic insomnia, sleep apnea, severe snoring, restless leg syndrome and sleep cycle disturbances - are thought to be caused by Post Traumatic Stress Disorders. One out of five veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan suffers from it, the National Veterans Foundation reports, and only half of them ever seek treatment... - The Tribune

Clear & Present Danger...

Succinct message from the U.S. Consulate in Matamoros: "From late March to early April, the Consulate received three reports from American Citizens or their families regarding inter-city buses being boarded by criminals. In at least one instance, male bus passengers, including an American citizen, were forcibly removed from those buses and have yet to be located. The Consulate General strongly encourages those American Citizens considering travel through Tamaulipas by bus, as well as by automobile, to keep these risks in mind."... - The Tribune

Helicopter Prey...

Pro-hunting lawmakers in the Texas House of Representatives have okayed hunting of feral hogs and coyotes from helicopters. The Bill's sponsor, Republican State Rep. Sid Miller of Stephenvile, says Texas’ estimated one to four million feral hogs cause $400 million in damage a year. Texans currently can pay a contractor to hunt hogs from a helicopter over their land. Today's bill would allow landowners to sell seats on helicopters to hunt the creatures, potentially making a profit. The legislation also lists coyotes as fair game... - The Tribune

No Insurance? Say Adios To Your Vehicle...

A bill that would crack down on uninsured, unlicensed drivers is expected to receive approval from a state transportation committee. Legislators spent Monday reviewing the proposal that would allow police to impound a vehicle immediately when drivers fail to produce proof of insurance. Some cities already have such leeway; this bill would make it a statewide law. Police across Texas investigated more than 72,000 accidents last year in which a driver did not have liability insurance, according to Republican State Rep. Charles Schwertner of Georgetown... - The Tribune

Canseco In Boxing Scam?...

Chapel Service Today...

Family and friends will hold a chapel prayer service today for former Assistant Cameron County District Attorney Arturo Jose Iniguez. A second autopsy has been performed following his death last weekend in Mexico. According to reports, officials believe he may have taken an overdose of an animal sedative, although a conclusive cause of death has not been determined. The 26-old lawyer's body was found inside an SUV in a commercial district of Matamoros... - Bob Veracruz, Reporting for The Tribune

Probation For Bad Judge...

Mexican Coroner: Suicide...

A Mexican coroner for the State of Tamaulipas has ruled suicide in the weekend death of Cameron Co. Assistant District Attorney Arturo Jose Iniguez. The official cited evidence of poison in the young lawyer's tissue. His body was found inside a vehicle in Matamoros, across the Rio Grande from Brownsville. At the time of his death, Iniguez was 26, married and the father of a 2-year-old daughter. He served District Attorney Armando Villalobos as lead prosecutor of all misdemeanor cases. As per law, a second autopsy will be performed when Iniguez's body is returned to Texas... - Patrick Alcatraz, Editor of The Tribune

The Face of TREPAC...

Eva-Jean Radle, shown in photo above, is owner of RE/MAX in the Valley and the TREPAC Trustee for Region 11, encompassing South Texas from Victoria to the Rio Grande Valley. According to its website, TREPAC, the Texas Association of Realtor’s political action committee, "is a non-partisan entity devoted to ensuring favorable state government legislation and working conditions for all realtors." This is the outfit that contributed money to Harlingen Mayor Chris Boswell's and City Commissioner Kori Marra's political coffers last fall... - Vince Valdez, Reporting for The Tribune

PAC Brawl in Harlingen...

"We’re still fighting the same issues. We still have the same substandard housing. We’re not making any progress; we’re stuck in the past because a group of people don’t want us to change, for whatever reason. Perhaps because they are comfortable."... - Kenneth Benton, vice-president of Harlingen Empowered Advocacy Team (HEAT), a political action committee, speaking about an opposing PAC, Harlingen Citizens Leadership Council, Inc. (HCLC) Quoted in a story published by the Valley Morning Star.

The Ugly Republican...

Newt Gingrich’s bed-hopping past got thrust into the limelight at a speech at the University of Pennsylvania last night, thanks to a combative question from a student. “You adamantly oppose gay rights,” the student, the president of Penn Democrats, began. “But you’ve also been married three times and admitted to having an affair with your current wife while you were still married to your second. … How do you reconcile this hypocritical interpretation of the religious views that you so vigorously defend?”... - Nick Ryan, Reporting for The Tribune