Gladys Porter and The Pips: What's Next For Defenseless Brownsville?...It's Anybody's Guess...Film At Eleven...

By EDUARDO PAZ-MARTINEZ
Editor-In-Chief

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - Parvis Sheikh Rezaei brought in a cool $3.9 million to this bordertown's lagging economy. It was a burglar's tool he used, but, Brutha, this is the hole where money talks. You've heard about that cockamamie idea that had this town being hit-up for funding needed by a start-up airline wanting to fly into - egads! - bloody, disgusting Mexico. That's Parvis in the photo atop this story.

The 55-year-old Iranian somehow found his way from the ill sands of Tehran to South Texas. He had some ideas on how to make a living, make some easy money, which is the national sport of Brownsville. Parvis looked around, saw easy pickings, and opened a pair of grocery stores in poverty-strapped Cameron Park, perhaps the worst subdivision in America.

Food Stamps flowed that way like confetti dropping from skyscrapers during one of those excitable New York City parades. They were being traded all over the place, for food, yes, but also for auto repair, yardwork, carwashings, used clothing, baby-sitting and danged near anything they could be bartered for within the cash-strapped subdivision population. It was the thrill of the day, say the stunned feds.

Parvis is in jail, along with two sad-faced, stupid Mexicans he employed at his so-called "dollar" stores. Gone to the Big House after four long and happy years of bilking the federal program.

But, boys and girls, money dreams are big here.

That airline, the one with the horrible name of Fly Frontera, ain't gonna happen. That movida was being orchestrated by the controversial mayor - Pat Ahumada - we've heard for all these years and mouthy City Commissioner Charlie Atkinson, two of the Pips who can always be counted on to spurt forth with ideas and plans that forever sound like schemes. Ahumada may be feeling a bit antsy; his DWI case hits the courts next month. Atkinson, well, he's the Pillsbury Doughboy and Curly of The Three Stooges and Henny Youngman all rolled into one character. A-ha-ha-ha, he goes one day. Yuckeety-yuck-yuck, the next. And, "Here, take my brain, please," the one after that. Some say they'd pay to watch this happy-feet guy walk up the sidewalk, cause they're sure the damned thing would roll-up on his ass. He's that kind of local celebrity, laugh-a-minute sort who plays not to the camera, but to the whole frickin' sky. Why, is the question, but he'd never get it.

So, sad-shy Brownsville waddles along, again victimized by its own people. Parvis Sheikh Rezaei may not be Hispanic, but he played one in Cameron Park. Played one to a T. Took something and paid less for it. Broke the law and kept doing it. Handed poor people cash when they needed milk and bread and tortillas. Did it in the style employed by the best around here.

Three-point-nine million dollars.

Dammit, Parvis, you set one shitty example for the young people and politicians of this falling town. But, you know, I haven't heard one of these so-called city leaders condemn your Iranian ass...

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