AMERIQUE:


A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: It is the unspoken statistic, but it is as real as anything to do with the lingering U.S. war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan. According to the military, 1,800 American servicemen have killed themselves since the initial invasion of Baghdad. That is in addition to the more than 4,000 who died in battle. This week, families of the soldiers who committed suicide asked President Barack Obama to change the government policy of not forwarding letters of appreciation to mothers and fathers of these servicemen. By week's end, the White House had reversed the policy and agreed that such letters are needed, as well... - Eduardo Paz-Martinez, Editor of The Tribune

Monday, August 2, 2010

Ragged In Brownsville: Homeless, I Cry For Help, Settle for Huevos a la Mejicana...

Well, I woke up Sunday morning 
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt 
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert... 
- Sunday Morning Coming Down, Kristofferson

By REY BUCKINGHAM
Staff Writer

BROWNSVILLE, Texas - It wasn't until I ripped-off my old, smelly Ropa Usada coat & hoodie and threw the sonsabitches into a dumpster on darkened Central Boulevard that I made my way to The Toddle Inn here, where I waited til they opened and then walked in to order a breakfast of Huevos a la Mejicana and a pot of black coffee that came one cup at a time. It was Sunday morning and I'd slept on the streets the previous night, scared shitless and feeling the cold of the bordertown with no heart.

I'd asked to do the story, so I won't cry.

But, man, oh, man what a time it was. Brownsville at night is a trip, as they say in most travel agencies up north, especially like on Spring Break. It is colorful in harsh language and brightened drama. I saw an old mangy dog chase a drunk after the guy left a downtown bar. If that fucka wasn't Jesse Owens looking like a fast Mexican, well, then I was seeing things. Somewhere near the federal courthouse on Elizabeth Street, a cop stopped me to ask for some ID. I handed him my Florida driver's license and he said, "Oh, you're from outta town?" I said, "Just moved here, sir," and he said, "Well, check out the Borders Apartments. Saw a sign out there that said they have a special on studio units." I thanked him and pocketed my wallet after making sure my cash was still in there.

I know. Homeless in Texas sounds weird. I mean, all that fuckin' land! Homeless? Wifeless, I could understand. Yeah, wifeless in Brownsville is likely the best way to go. Here's why: I was on Addams Street, paralleling Elizabeth, walking up the sidewalk when this guy in a forest-green Ford Taurus drives by, makes it a block past me and then makes a U-turn. I stop and hold my grocery cart, thinking these guys are about to roll me. Naaaaah. They were two faaaaaaaags! I'll bet homeless dudes get a lot of attention from ambulant fags during the night hours. Queers in Brownsville? Who would have thunk it? Of course, I'm The Tribune's Gay Affairs Writer, so I was sure I'd be able to handle myself.

I grunted something about having AIDS and the two mustachioed Mexicans laughed and then the battered car roared-off. Strange that it worked, I told myself. Most Gays know it as a handy throwaway line, or code for yeah, come blow me right away, right away. I wheeled on up ahead. It was bar-closing time and, at Market Square, a line of brown-skinned, beer-bellied men walked out of a handful of bars at bizarre angles only the drunk know as upright if upright is with your legs wobbling and your head wanting to hit the pavement as soon as possible. Fuck you, I said aloud and one of the guys said, "What, is that my wife talkin'? - Hey, I heard sumpin, Gawdummit! Sheeeeee-it, that you Leticia?" And then he puked a super-sized pizza outside a finance company's front door.

Life is hard here, they say. You're either a drunkard or a player. You either bury your feelings in booze or your peter in someone else's old lady. The homeless know, they know who is fooling around. They walk up on parked cars in a gentle sway and they hear the soft-moaning, the romantic Spanish. "Ay, damela, damela toda!" is a popular one apparently. Who knows? The sounds of the streets at night are something else. Between the hilarious transvestites and the brazen cheaters, you get a rolling corrido of pain, regret and disgust. I dunno, I dunno. Brownsville is not what I expected.

The homeless know. They know the rotting innards, the tamale-heavy bowels, the killing dungeons and the most horrible of secrets. It is not a pretty story, as they say about rape and military killed-in-action notices.

I whistled an old song while I put away my breakfast, a warm rolled tortilla in one hand and my cup of coffee in the other. "Usted es homeless?" asked the young, roly-poly, fresh-faced waitress.

"No," I said in return. "Yo era homeless. That's my white Lexus convertible out there...going home after this to get some Zzzzzzzs." My hyena-like laughter sent her off. She kept looking back at me as she walked toward the kitchen, over her shoulder, eyes wide-open, lips pursed, mind telling her something was wrong with the picture, with the imagery she carried of what a homeless person was or said.

I left a $10 tip, no doubt breaking the record in town...

- 30 -

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Patrick is this Rey Buckinham for real??? Drives a Lexus and leaves $10.00 tips. OR did he just made it up???

Anonymous said...

(I left a $10 tip, no doubt breaking the record in town...)

So, another black man on the payroll there, Pat? And he was on Central blvd. to. Not far from Las Prietas. Say, that ain't the same black homeless dude that seems to reside on the underpass at price road and the expressway, is it? Oh well, when you need "hep", guess they'll do.

ralphy

Dr. Atl said...

Oh well... Anything for calling attention in this disolated and depressing ejido. Eveybody wants to have raise their low- self steem by " Impressing " all these Chuntaros and Nacos.
What aa Inferiority complex !!!

CHUNTAROS /AS = Individuals that are poor, uneducated, Naive, rancheritos /as and ignorant that comes from an uncivilized place
{ e.g. The Federal Indian Reservation / Refuge - The Entire Rancho Grande Valley }.

NACOS / AS = the sons and daugthers fron tthose chuntaros, all the " bad manners inherited by their parents" , but now even worse , because they " speak a ranchero English" , listen to Tex - Mex. Circus ' Music" and dress in a Bad taste.

Anonymous said...

(OR did he just made it up???(

I, personally, would not believe a thing that boy says. Had he said he left a dime, I would have been very skeptical, indeed. Sorry Pat,but this new hire sounds like he should reserve passage on that tugboat headed to Amsterdam.

ralphy

Anonymous said...

Ralp, does this guy really lives, I mean flashing $10.00 tips in Brownsville can be hazardous to your health.
And then drive a Lexus, that could spell extra problems, well have to go and get a cold glass of tea at the local coffee shop.
No i drive a ford, and leave tips of $1.00 economy is bad.

Anonymous said...

Ralph, Rey Buckiham is not a afro american. He looks white to me. Unless is the other writer, the one that looks like one of the characters of a movies of the 1960s. Can't remember the name, I think it was the monsters.

Patrick Alcatraz said...

ANONS & RALPHY:...The record, as we know it, for tipping in Brownsville is $52. It came to a lucky young waitress working at Capt. Bob's on Price Rd. The diners: Jerry McHale, DP-M and a few others.... - Editor

Anonymous said...

(The diners: Jerry McHale, DP-M and a few others....)

But when speaking of people of honor, such as those mentioned, I would believe it.

ralphy

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Ralphy:...Truth be told, the tip was tendered after Capt. Bob Sanchez declined the band's payment of the dinner check. So, to settle things out of some sense of no-bullshit correctness, DP-M suggested the $52 tip and McHale agreed. The young waitress took the cash, blew McHale a kiss and waved at DP-M. As you know, there is only one woman for DP-M in Brownsville. Such is the unbending taste of that guy, The Most Interesting Man in Brownsville - even when he's not in town... - Editor

Anonymous said...

Wow, $52.00 tip is not bad, specially in this economy. Well, hello, some of us don't have the resources of DPM, and Jerry McHale, and Alcatraz, but we are not poor indians either.

Anonymous said...

ATL, you sure like to call names, just out of curosity, what do you consider yourself??? A Teco.
# A teco is worse than a Naco. And no one knows where they descended from.

Dr. Atl said...

A Tecolote ?!?
Hay tu di veraz.. Hacina Mesmamente Patroncito !!!