By ELIOT ELCOMEDOR
Staff Writer
HARLINGEN, Texas - Residents of the brain-challenged Rio Grande Valley of Texas rarely get a chance to exhibit their smarts. They like to argue that they are smarter than they're given credit for, which is not much. Around here, the word "dropout" is an adjective, goes the line. And so we wanted to avail a simple test to see just how smart - or dumb - Valleyites actually are, or something like that, with this sorta, kinda test. We'll use the Jeopardy model to frame our questions. Participants may use our "comments" featrure to submit answers and be graded.
1.) He is acknowledged as the Valley's only comatose mayor. Answer - Chris Boswell, Harlingen
2.) At one time, it was the aerial pride & joy of Harlingen. Answer - Confederate Air Force
3.) He is the Blogger who glorified disgraced baseball player Jose Canseco. Answer - Jerry Deal
4.) This local politician is generally regarded as specializing in temper tantrums. - Answer- Kori Marra
5.) It is the preferred nickname of pretty much every Harlingen Redneck. - Answer - "Unemployed"
6.) A Redneck orders this plate when at Luby's Cafeteria. - Answer - the one left at an adjacent table by departing customers
7.) Name of country where Rednecks want all Mexicans to live. Answer - El Paso
8.) This is a Redneck's favorite sport. Answer - Incest
9.) The Redneck says this to his father at age 18. Answer - "You really my dad?"
10.) A Redneck's reply to questions about the abortion bill. Answer - "I'll pay it!"
Good luck! Let's see how many of you can dazzle us...
- 30 -
13 comments:
Welcome back Eliot, finally somebody that is level headed, Alcatraz, Juan Jones, Jr. Bonner, are flakes. This guys are nothing but women chasers, or skirt hounds.
You are about the only man with common sense, that writes good articles. Send Jr. Bonner back to Colorado, Hopefully, Alcatraz, will stay in Panama tied to some silly rope and net.
Eliot, I do not live in Harlinge, but I think I can answer some of the questions: A. Chris Boswell B. The nine story building C. Jerry Deal D. Korri Marrana e.f.Fried Chicken g. Mexico h. mud dawging I. Can I buy a beer.
I live in between San Benito and Laferia on 281, but everyone knows all the crap that goes in the racist town. By the way Red Necks don't go to Lubys, they go to a place called Down Home on Morgan blvd.
SARITA/DARLENE:...Thanks for that. We will soon post the answers... - Editor
To the owner of the Tribune: Do everyone a favor, keep P. Alcatraz in Panama, and if he returns send him to Arizona, or Colorado with Jr. Bonner, far, far away.
Pay the Mexican police to keep Juan Jones in Mexico for about 10 years, they will do it if you pay them.
Give Ron Mexico Jr. a truck full of cheap rye, out in Las Vegas, there are plenty of homeless, he will feel right at home sleeping under a bridge.
Send Rhanna one day with Brother Jonesy, and she will fly out of the Harlingen airport faster than Superman.
And hire new staff, make ElComedor you new Editor and you will have a successful blog.
Rednecks, go to Down Home, and also go to a rest. Located on 15th and Jackson street. I have seen some rednecks at Lonnies beer joint, on Morgan Blvd. By the way this places are located in Harlingen, Did anyone know that the kkk at one time had a chapter in Harlingen and Mercedes, no joke they did, and they use to March on parades.
Sorry about the Spanglish here mr. Commedor, pero ese pueblo esta salado.
Easy, on Harlingen, Mr. Editor, I go drink beer at Lonnies and lots of Hispanics bikers go there as well.
I even go to the WhiteWings games and drink their day old beer, they don't play worth a sh%$#t but they throw the ball around.
I even met, Jerry Deal, and old man, who is kind of hunch back, reminds me of the movie the Hunch Back of Notre Dame, or something like that. I have seen Jerry with a small dog, I guess no one else likes him so he hangs around dogs. A joke compart.
Besides most of the women, I date son Chicanas, some admit to being here illegal. But a I am not prejudice. I will even go out, with Sarita and Darlene, at the same time. If they agree. Rhanna, the invitation is still on my humble table.
Go take a hike, you poor excuse of a drunk. I rather be in a coffin like Ron Mexico, than to be around a pear shape body man like you,(Pobre Viejo panson en tabacado)
REDNECK In Spanish = NACO.... Now, no wonder we are so MARGINALIZED here in the Rancho Grande Valley !!!
This guys are nothing but women chasers, or skirt hounds.
Excuse me, but they are men. Something which you obviously know nothing about. By the way, the V in my name does stand for viagra. A name my dear wife came up with, and which I thought I should legally add.
R.V.Gomez you are a married man, you don't fall under the skirt hound, catagory.
This guys, will lie, cheat, make up sad stories, drop lines of the 1960's, they will say their mothers just past away, they will say and do anything.
The former editor is already screwing his former employees widow, she is probably just like him. And now Juan Jones, like R.Mexico is hanging out in Matamoros red light district.
Why are you defending them?? Alcatraz, Juan Jones, Ron Mexico Jr. are the worst of the worst, similiar to Brother Jonesy. I repeat again, "they will say anything to get themselves some poor dampsel in distress bunk."
End of story!!!
Hey, your Red neck article is being looked at, or spoken about at myleadernews.com from some redneck.
Rednecks love Harlingen, they have their places to eat, just for them and places to drink. Harlingen is Hog Heaven for all the bigots of the Valley.
Red neck double jeopardy. I was in the kitchen reading that on my I-pad while taking a double dose of the generic blue when I was reading that. It is totally awesome. But when do the answers come?
Mr.Viagra Gomaz, go take a shower, you are heading for a heart attack with that Viagra sh#@#t.
My friend's boyfriend is going blind, and can't hear half of the time. And he still takes that stuff, Rosie, tells me for being 48he is stud.
Don't be giving the staff at the tribune any ideas, otherwise, Alcatraz, will be making moves on elderly ladies. Sorry Patrick, I had to throw that in.
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