By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Editor of The Tribune
HARLINGEN, Texas - When last heard from, former Major League Baseball player and steroid-user Jose Canseco was boxing actor Danny Bonaduce of The Partridge Family television show - and all he got was a majority draw. Prior to that, he took a beating at the hands of a 7-2, 330-pound South Korean fellow (see photo above). Yeah, it's been one carnival ride after another for Canseco since big league clubs turned their back on him. That, however, is just the tip of the soiled iceberg for this guy.
He's coming to Harlingen next Monday as a member of the Laredo Broncos UBL squad. It is the Fairy Tale of the Year for Harlingen, although, to be sure, the usual group of people who arrive to watch the Rio Grande Valley WhiteWings play nine will swell to a few thousand. It'll be Monday. Action inside local bars will be slow. Gunfire downtown likely will not burst until later in the evening. Yeah, take me out to the ballgame...
Canseco coming to town is no treat. Yes, he'll be the attraction, as would be Charles Manson if the Laredo Broncos signed him to pitch for the very reason league spokesman Deal notes above. The same crowd would come for Joe, the Plumber, or for anyone with any semblance of publicity, whatever its source.
This Cuban-American is out of pro baseball for a damned good reason. He has said he wants to manage a Big League club, yet he is hounded at every turn by his use of steroids during seasons with the Oakland Athletics, when he and steroids-happy Mark McGwire homered pretty much every time they went to the plate. At present, Canseco plays sparingly for the Broncos. He's a mere shadow of the ballplayer he used to be, more a disappointing memory than anything else. Deal does note that Canseco is holding training camps for kids in Laredo. Good P.R. move, but, like his decision to stop taking the performance-enhancing drug, a bit late.
All this reminds us of another former Big Time athlete who came to the Rio Grande Valley of Texas - one Quincy Carter, ex-QB for the Dallas Cowboys who signed to play for the then-Rio Grande Valley Dorados. Carter had been run out of Big D after being caught with marijuana by city cops. Same thing happened in the RGV. Carter got a shot with the NY Jets after that, but eventually ended up playing for a Nowheresville semi-pro team in Abilene.
These guys should not be seen as heroes or role models. When Canseco comes to town and is announced by the P.A. man as the next batter, the crowd of curious onlookers will cheer at seeing him carrying his lumber to the plate. Little kids will cheer, 'cause everybody's cheering.
But they will be cheering for a man who does not deserve it.
Jose Canseco struck out a long time ago...
- 30 -
11 comments:
Patience my fellow Editor, Jerry Deal and his pipe dream about the UBL. Only in South Texas people think that sand lot baseball is the real thing.
Patrick, didn't the Tribune had an article about Ron Mexico getting shot and stabbed in some bordellos in Europe.
Now you are planning on employing his son at the Tribune!! My only question is, can he write as well as his father???
Hey come on, when I want to see full figure women, I go to restaurants in harlingen or Brownsville.
Whats with the full figured naked lady and two in bathing suits.
Mr. Editor, those people in Harlingen are rattling your cage.
ANON:...Full-figured women do abound in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas. Nothing wrong with that. We see it as part of the region's sky-wide tapestry... - Editor
My question as to the living legacy of Ron Mexico Sr. is how he managed to sire little junior in the first place or was his questionable taste in dress not evident at the time? Also questionable is whether any bordello would admit Senior as a client. Or maybe he had crossed over to the working side of the street. Poor Junior, that's alot to live down. M
ANON (M):...Writer Ron Mexico was not Gay. Readers merely going by the photo we used took the bizarre wear to mean Ron was a homosexual. As noted in the original story, which seemingly flew over our readers' heads, Ron was forced to wear that ridiculous outfit after his beloved Panamanian clothing was stolen by Gays at the Harlingen health club he attended. Yes, he sired Ron Mexico, Jr., as well as three other sons with the same name by three different women in Panama, Colombia and Venezuela. Ron Mexico adored his women. Rumor has it there is a fourth Ron Mexico, Jr., this one in the tummy of a Black woman from Amsterdam, where he was callously murdered... - Editor
Editor: I am amazed that you are in such denial as to the possibility of Ron Mexico's gender confusion. First of all, no truly straight guy would frequent a gym that was a gay hangout. Second, even if all he was left to wear was that adult-size onesie (which he did rock like it was a second skin), a straight guy would have streaked bare nekkid before he would have holstered himself in that travesty of taste. If you don't believe me, ask that homophobic Juan Jones. It's okay to admit that you liked Ron Mexico even though he was gay. M
You mean to tell me, Ron Mexico has four sons and all have the same name???
Well, there is a Gay bar in Harlingen on Ed Carey, Health Inspector despise going to that place, because of what goes there. I am glad to hear that Ron was no Homo. Whoever, whomever, took that redicolous picture, did is as a joke.
But getting your butt killed in a bordello in Europe, is something else.
I wish Ron Jr. well on his articles. Hopefully, he won't follow the examples of the father.
Damn, he had four women??? What was he eating??? Viagra, four women and he was visiting prostitues, whats wrong with that man???
On your side bar story pertaining to Ron Mexico, having some knowledge in law enforcement, whoever, shot him and layed a granade by his feet, sounds like a crime of Passion. Either that, or he was messing with someone's girlfriend. Nothing personal against Ron, but he lived a fast life. And maybe he got what he deserved, six shots and a granade, sounds like someone wanted him out of this world.
ANON M:...Yes, we liked Ron Mexico. He was a singular talent. As for this Gay/Not Gay debate, well, let's go ahead and say that, for you, Ron can be Gay if it'll settle things. Really, he's dead, but why start that argument? ANON (2): Ron had women everywhere he went. He was a Party Boy. There was that woman reporter in Brownsville he was always alleged to have been dating. And, let's not forget he was married to the Panamanian acrobat Elaine Benitez -a sexy, sexy dame who could never satisfy Ron in the sack. ANON (3.): Police in Amsterdam said they thought Ron's killers mistook him for an international arms dealer who was selling weapons to dictators in Africa. They believed he was Austrian, in fact. No one has been arrested in connection with Ron's murder, a pisser in its own right... - Editor
Mr. Joe C. will be in town today at around 7:00pm. At Harlingen Baseball field. MR. Roid.
Post a Comment