Staff Writer
PORT ISABEL, Texas - We come to you this morning from the town that manages to escape great scandal, drama or posturing, a community we find somewhat of a break from the insipid petulance of the rest of the Rio Grande Valley. Enduring bullshit, however, is the essence of Valley life, so we'll hold that thought and get on down the road, as Republican Gov. Rick Perry likes to say when cornered.
This past week brought much of the usual Human slop known around here as brown-on-brown crime, low-rent politics and an overdose of Mexican culture. Cops in Harlingen a few taco stands to the west of here took the stonings from a community angry at their failure to, well, look like cops. If they're not fat in Harlingen, they're not solving crimes. Some say the safest pieces of ground in town are those occupied by donut shops. Who knows? The cases of recent note aren't what we'd call Big Time - in the league of, say, the cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer or David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam killer - but they were and are important to the poor, God-fearing people of Harlingen. At last check, many in town were demanding the immediate firing of aloof Police Chief Danny Castillo and the ouster of missing Mayor Chris Boswell.
In McAllen, traffic along busy, busy No. 10th Street never takes a day-off. It remains the best place in America to see license tags from all across Mexico. According to one visionary at our favorite coffee shop - Starbucks, yeah, on N. 10th - McAllen is looking at constructing either a subway system from the airport to the far south all the way to State Hiway 107 to the far north; that, or a Chicago-style elevated to span the same route. We suspect that such an option would make matters worse, mainly because we also believe that fun-starved Valleyites, easily-pleased denizens that they are, would see it all as some sort of Disneyworld ride and get on either just to do it. We'll wait on tomorrow.
In La Grulla near Rio Grande City on the western outs of the Rio Grande Valley, rain-soaked residents cried and cried for help after floodwaters lapped onto their property and then into their bedrooms. Making love in La Grulla is never like making love on a Bahamas-bound cruiseliner. Hollerings at county leaders for help got them nothing, one woman told The McAllen Monitor in a story that didn't quite get the readership as that latest tale of creative grenade-lobbing in the nearby Mexican bordertown of Reynosa, now known to its residents as Saigon. Reports had it that charity mattresses rolled south from homeless shelters upstate, and one elderly La Grulla man was driven to say: "Ya era tiempo! Hijo de la..."
Brownsville is living happily ever after following the mayor's decision to act his age. No more drinking in public for Mayor Pat Ahumada, which would mean no more DWI arrests, which would mean the Brownsville Police Department can now stop hounding him for easy adds on their ticket quotas. On the Brownsville blogging front, once the scene of insane pseudo-journalism whippings and computer screens for a moving feast of porn, it was the return of Brash Blogger Jerry McHale and his new offering - Brownsville Literary Review - that many in town equated to the arrival of the latest 18-wheeler bearing free government cheese. To date, it has not matched McHale's previous blog - El Rocinante - for verve, for meaningfulness, for import, for angst and for deep-breathing. The Literary Review has been as tame as a long night of job-loss mourning inside a Southmost neighborhood living room. Aside from discarding the excitable porn, the new site is still the Same-Ol'-Same-Ol' for McHale - dishing on the poor university president, on a few no-name politicians and the goings-on that make Brownsville what it is: A Not-Top-10 Corrido.
But we're fast coming to the conclusion that Brownsville's blogs now own the front row of the second-rate...
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18 comments:
(To date, it has not matched McHale's previous blog)
Say Alacatraz, I believe the reason for the above is that nobody knows how to post comments to the blog. Could you convey this to Dr. Mchale?
ralphy
RALPHY:...Well, as to McHale's latest Blog, we're still waiting for the literary and for the reviewing. The name of the Blog does not fit the content, but that's his decision. Comments are something he apparently does not want, 'cause he could easily add that feature to his website if he want to. Brownsville Literary Review reads a bit "tired," like McHale's pushing himself to do something he no longer wishes to do. Boxers know the feeling as that "one more fight and then I'll retire." In the end, their reputation takes a beating. But we're speculating... - Editor
(Comments are something he apparently does not want, 'cause he could easily add that feature to his website if he want to.)
Mmm,well alright. Guess one of his three readers will bid him farewell.
ralphy
RALPHY:...Stay with McHale a few more days. He's been known to skate away from a brawl and then, suddenly, dive back in and begin throwing punches at everybody. Whatever you get from the Brownsville Literary Review is still loads better than anything else in town... - Editor
(He's been known to skate away from a brawl and then, suddenly, dive back in and begin throwing punches at everybody.)
LOL! Thanks for bringing me back to reality. Blaming it on an old Bob Hope/Bing Crosby movie I was watching. Ain't giving up on the irishman.
ralphy
Sometimes cops look fat, because they wear a protective vest.
But some look like preagnant women, with or without a vest.
The tacos, and guevos rancheros with tortillas de arina and bacon on the side don't help any. Oh! and I forgot, coffee on the side.
ANON:...Part of the problem is that some eateries give Cops a break on the check. Eating "free" does something to a man - makes him lazy and steals his pride... - Editor
(Oh! and I forgot, coffee on the side.)
A medium cup with 5-6 packs of SUGAR and the same amounts of creams. And that is before they start on the cokes. Gotta stay hydrated.
ralphy
Ralphy:...Next time you see a cop at a cafe, walk up and tell him you're paying for his coffee. I love the faces I get, cause they know I know they're chumps for taking a freebie... - Editor
(I love the faces I get, cause they know I know they're)
Yeah, right. He'll smell jose cuervo on my breath, then I'll have to drive on down to Feldman's and get him a fifth.
ralphy
(Dixie Jones wished for a return to a bygone America. (Morning Star)
Pues diles a los gabachos que se vallan a llorar en la placita de Minot, ND.
ralphy
RALPHY:...I don't know if this Dixie Jones is Anglo or Black, but our lanky, Afro-American writer Juan Jones would probably straighten her out, if you get my drift... - Editor
(if you get my drift... - Editor)
You say he's a black man? I do.
ralphy
Maricones... You al sound / are a bunch of Whynners, Mama's cry babies ans Naggers, No Wonder we as Mexican - Americans, Chinacos are at the very bottom of American Citizenship society !!!
You probably are Mr. Maracas, I am doing very well, my business does very good. Why don't you speak for yourself.
I bow to no one, and can hold myself with anyone.
You might not be doing very well, but some of us actually are.
(Americans, Chinacos are at the very bottom of American Citizenship society !!!)
You are, my friend. But not me.
ralphy
Chano Maracas has a screw missing, he is all screwed up, he might be doing bad, he might lack education, but not everybody is like him. Chano, there is a place called South Texas Mental Clinic here in Harlingen, and they cure people like you, with no self-steem and always blaming someone because you can't function normal like everyone.
Thank You, I am doing very well.
Cabrones, You all just make me feel even worse ... Ya me voy , Hay Los Wacho Malinchistas achicopaladosand white- ass kissers!
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