Staff Writer
RIO GRANDE CITY, Texas - So, they left it up to me. Bastards! Me, the Nazi on the team, told to write an ending to this "Everything & Nothing" Blog. So, okay, they got me this room at a local motel with off-white towels as ragged as I've ever seen. I'll write this adios and be gone. Achtung, Baby, indeed!
The thing is our editor - Patrick Alcatraz - has no sense of pain. His feelings range from "Gimme to Goodbye," so he wasn't the one to ever write this. Ron Mexico would have been the one, but Alcatraz had him killed. So, it'll be me, the German with the Mt. Everest-sized WW II guilt. Klement kills again! It'll end someday. I dunno. I have applied for this obituary writer's job with The Jerusalem Post, so perhaps that would be a new beginning, although you never know with Jews.
"Tell them something about how we enjoyed our stay in the Valley, about how lovely the locals are, and about how we buried ourselves in the great food," wrote Alcatraz in his memo to me regarding this last assignment. "Oh, and don't forget to write something about us wishing everybody the Goddamned best. It's been a hoot..."
The Tribune, I know, lived to live. It had a grand dream, perhaps too big for the small sky around here. Who knows? Who really ever knows? Dammit...Who cares, yeah...
- 30 -
[EDITOR'S NOTE:..Reporter Juan Jones announced plans to take a few days off before going back to Houston, to look for his Big Booty girlfriend, Sherika. Rey Buckingham isn't happy about The Tribune ending things, but he's ready to go back to Miami's livelier Gay Scene. Spike Torres is moving to Aspen, Colorado, to write a screenplay about life in Harlingen. Stoney Hernandez is auditioning for a role in a Mexican novela. Ron Mexico, Jr. is flying to Amsterdam, where his father was murdered, to continue Dad's sex-sex-sex lifestyle there. Doyle May has a shot at a job with Sports Illustrated, covering Tiger Woods. Eliot Elcomedor is flying to Havana for no real reason. Editor Patrick Alcatraz is off to train for that climb of Mt. St. Helens he can't get out of his head. Everybody else is staying in the Rio Grande Valley, to collect unemployment, yes. As the Spanish Adam put it best: "What Eva"...]
8 comments:
Forv the last few months that I had been posting comments... I'D realized that almost everybody here at THE TRIBUNE had something in common; We all Wish to move on with oiur lives to a more pleasant weather Place, more intellectually challenging place, to a more Gobally - diverse Artistic and Cultural events place.., etc.
Wherever you all go, I wish You the beat , but please move on with Your Productive and Creative Life. I will Wait enouhg this year, and see How things work out with my employment salary, iIf things do not seem o improve... I'll Be moving to Central Mexico " EL BAJIO " states. That's where The Strong Mexican Economy is Powerful, They Don't depent to The U.S.A. for anything. The weather is fantastic, music, arquitecture, True - Mexican Food Variety, The Arts- Oh My GOD !!! lanscapes are infinite. The Sky is Bluer and The wind is much Cooler
Mr. Alcatraz, Thank For That Request from FRIDA --- and for everything else !!!
... take good care, and my Best wishes wherever You Go , or stay !!!
Hey guys, want to wish you all well on your journey, wherever it may lead you to.
Your blog truly, has good writers, something the Valley lacks and criticize when articles and comments are above there level.
I too plan to move to Wyoming for awhile and leave the area.
To Ron, Patrick, Juan and all the staff, farewell.
Alcatraz, what's this I read that you are going to climb Mr. St. Helen, My good man you are Pro-writer, you are not a mt. climber.
Your problem is you are to easy on politicos and the locals. I hope Eliot stays behind and keeps the blog going. He is truly a pit bull when he writes. Well most of the staff at the Tribune write good readable stuff.
Change your format, get after todos estos pinches politicos. Get a guest writing column from the local papers and put out some good stuff.
That goes for the over-sex genes of Ron Mexico Jr. Look what happen to the father!!!
In four weeks you will be missing the Valley and you will be back, now "GO" get this crazy thing out of your head and speak some sense to Mr. Mexico, or take hime with you, by the time he climbs a mountain he will be to tired to chasing posti's in Amsterdamn.
Okay, enough said, Have a good time, enjoy the cool weather, watch out for the crazies.
Channo Marrakas, get your life together, the problems here in South TExas are unique hiding in Mexico isn't going to solve anything. (You too will be back!!)
Our Sad History is this : The Spanish Conqueros Rape our Native Amerindians women... but, The Anglo - Saxon, Raped and Castrated our Men !!!
Yea, but let us not give up the fight, I know exactly how you feel anony, but I am not giving up, not until I take my last breath.
Join me, and I ask the staff at the Tribune, not to give up this fight either.
Martin Luther King Jr. didn't.
Juan Jones, there are plenty of women here in the Valley with big booties, mostly hispanics of course.
Nothing against any of the Tribune staff, but I have given advice to the editor, about Tribune staffs work habits, and how to deal with all of you.
He needs to get some women on the staff, I am sure there are some reporters with big booties and descent size knockers', hopefully, it will keep you guys busy writnig.
Plus, I have suggested, the editor on how to motivate staff. You all might be in for a treat, if he takes my advice, "it wasn't to nice."
Charmed land, you mean, savage land, crazy lazy people, wife beatings, yuk, too many things to write down.
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