Nobody's Angel:...A Rebel Gets Into The Christmas Gift-Giving Mood...Writing Takes A Break...

By PATRICK ALCATRAZ
Editor-In-Chief

SOMEWHERE ELSE - "Dad," my daughter likes to say, "...What does one give a man who has everything?" And every year about this time, I laugh at hearing her lovely, young voice. It could be Gabrielle Patricia calling from New York, or Cynthia Paula from Fort Worth. Well, I tell them, I don't have everything. It's not even close. My style is to have those things I need and do without a lot. But they love the Christmas Season and all it brings, so I play along, as I have played along with those two beautiful kids for many years. It's the best side of me, and I am a good guy in general, as most who know me know.

So, I went looking for things I thought they might want me to have.

1.) A Reliable razor: No electric shaver for this face. Top-of-the-Line thing, best of shaving creams. At present, I have a Gillette Fusion razor and accompanying blades. It does the trick nicely, and, for a guy who cannot stand facial hair, that's a blessing and a half. Check out: fscbarber.com for what I mean. Not cheap, but it's for your freakin' face!

2.) A Neat Watch: I lost my lovely Tissot watch last year during a drinking outing in McAllen. Who knows? Perhaps the leather strap thingee broke and I didn't hear it fall to the ground or bar parking lot. It was a gift, so perhaps my losing it brought an end to something altogether, which was a good thing. Check out: bellross.com for a watch worth the cash.

3.) A Warm Sweater: Every man needs at least one those sweaters to be labeled the "dependable one," the one sweater you'd not leave behind after splitting with your girl or wife or mistress. I have a handful of black sweaters, one with a mock turtleneck I wear when traveling, especially. It's me, as they say in fashion, and it keeps me warm even in the presence of ugly people. I jest. The sunglasses at right can also be purchased at this same site. I got them for Father's Day earlier this year. Check out: urbanoutfitters.com

4.) A Great Cherry Pie: I heard of this place in Central Texas called the Texas Pie Company in Kyle, south of Austin. Well, I went, and it was as good as advertised. It sits in what constitutes the growing city's small downtown, there alongside Hitter's Bar and across from a plaza-like courtyard that includes the old courthouse and a Holiday sign that counts down the last days leading into Christmas Day. A small, personal pie is $3.25, a whole pie goes for $12. Tell owner Julie the guy with the mop top hair sent you. All the usual flavors, yes. Google it.

5.) A Worthy Book: I like to put away a few books a year. This go-around I'd suggest Life, the autobiography of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards. Haven't read it yet. I'll get it myself if no one gives it to me. Second choice would be the novel Driving The Rim by Thomas McGuane. It'll impress you. McGuane writes with superb grace.

6.) Music: This time of the year points me to people who bring us Christmas music. Sarah Brightman is a favorite. Her version of Oh, Holy Night can be found on Youtube.com, the one which she sings at the Vatican. That same song by Aaron Neville will bring out the full-humanity in you, make you believe that there is no need to quarrel with anyone, instill a smidgen of goodness in even some of you sinners.

And that, my loyal flock, is what the Holiday Season is all about, isn't it?

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