AMERIQUE:


A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: It is the unspoken statistic, but it is as real as anything to do with the lingering U.S. war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan. According to the military, 1,800 American servicemen have killed themselves since the initial invasion of Baghdad. That is in addition to the more than 4,000 who died in battle. This week, families of the soldiers who committed suicide asked President Barack Obama to change the government policy of not forwarding letters of appreciation to mothers and fathers of these servicemen. By week's end, the White House had reversed the policy and agreed that such letters are needed, as well... - Eduardo Paz-Martinez, Editor of The Tribune

Saturday, March 6, 2010

County Race To Be Moving Cantina Brawl


By JUAN MO-TIME
Political Writer

BROWNSVILLE, TX - There's still the matter of the run-off between challengers Eddie Trevino and John Wood, but incumbent County Judge Carlos Cascos is fearing the worst in what many say will be a months-long campaign mirroring the disastrous events of that horrible day at Little Big Horn in the Dakotas.

"Already there is word that Trevino is up to his old, chickenshit tricks," said Cascos supporter Ronnie "The Sham" Zamudio, a local schoolteacher. "We hear sinister plots are being hatched by the minute, plots meant to embarrass Carlos Cascos."

Among the plans is a novel approach to campaign advertising: the Trevino forces, it is being said, are enlisting the help of Hollywood superstar Morgan Freeman to do the voice-over on their candidate's Ads. Some are saying candidate Wood is after comedienne Ellen Degeneres for the same purpose. It has left the Cascos camp wondering whether they should get their own "Big" voice. "James Earl Jones would be good," said another resident interested in returning Cascos to office. "I just don't want Erik Estrada, for some reason a favorite among some of our women."

Trevino is a former mayor of Brownsville. He is believed to pose the biggest threat to Cascos, a relatively calm man whose administration has largely done what's needed and nothing more. "Cascos has no dream," said a Trevino fan. "What has he done that's made our lives or our county better - nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilcho. Even if he got God or Tony Romo to do his advertising voice-overs, Cascos would still be boring."

The general election is still months away, yet the fray is front-center on the minds of the thousands of political junkies who call Brownsville home. At the 1-2-3 Lounge last night, a covey of boozers tossed chatter around a large round table about the race. Said one totally drunk patron wearing a UConn basketball jersey, "Cascos? Sure, he's okay. Trevino? Sure, he's okay. But more important than that is this: When are these bozos going to bring new jobs to town. I haven't worked since (Mexican crooner) Jose Jose was hot, and that was - what? - 15 years ago. It's been long, brother. Too long. Damned long..."

Among those endorsing Cascos is Dr. G.F. McHale-Scully, editor of the sensationalist blog El Rocinante. It is unclear why he is doing that, but there it is. According to a source within the opposition, the Trevino camp will launch its assault on Cascos immediately after they dispatch Wood to the loser's bracket. "We're buying a $5,000 Ad on El Rocinante and we'll see who Jerry endorses," said Amelia "La Buena" Camposanto, an attractive and leggy fundraiser working for Trevino. "We think he'll switch his stripes, yes. I may have to get him out for a drink, but he'll come over to our side."

- 30 -

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I always look forward to your return -- a blog, that is.

~Claire

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Claire! My dearest, dearest Claire,...You had me at "I" - you know you did. Good to hear from you. Come see me, Kiddoe. - Editor

Fandango usa said...

What is this a love affair, on the blog???

Patrick Alcatraz said...

The best kind of romance, absolutely. You'd know what I know if you were lucky enough to know the lovely Claire...- Editor

fandango usa said...

Is this another made up character??? like the love relationship between Anais and Dp-m, If not my apologies to the lovely Claire.

fandango usa said...

Wait, what does a luv affair have to do with the comments on the article???
The article is about politics and here we are, speaking about romances. (And the lovely Claire)
I say vote "Cascos out" four years is enough, he did gave the county residents, something, "a tax increase" for next years Christmas.
Mr. Editor, please stay focus.
Let me see, is there a correalation, btween el rurun and the resinante??? God save the readers.
!!!

Patrick Alcatraz said...

We make wide-track allowances for our lady friends. They are free to interject on any posting. The lovely Claire is not Anais. I confess that Claire and I go a bit farther back. She was a character in my third book, in fact. And I have missed her terribly, so...- Editor

Fandango usa said...

My God, your people need help, you speak about a character like if it exists. It doesn't, it is fiction, pigmentation of your imagination. Please, get some help for everyone, including Martinez Anais, who first concocted an affair with a character thats unreal, than there is Alcatras, who reference the Moon godess a 27 year old that "does" exists, who wears dresses two size smaller than her size. Caught her husband wrapped around another woman in a car outside Rack Daddys bar in harlingen. And got divorce papers two days after being caught naked as a jay bird. Mr. Alcatras later idnentified this poor soul as a dragon fly who frequently opines on another blog.
I would say, please make an appointment with Mrs. Woods and get your mind cleared up. I say get mental help for everyone who writes on the blog. Well, with one execption, "Me".

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Calm down, Fandango. We'll take your suggestion for shrink help and consider it. As for Miss. Goddess, well, we do not know her, but we're intrigued by her choice in dresswear. What can possibly explain that, Fandango? Should we ask our shrink? We'll also be sure to ask Mssr. Freud what exactly "fandango" means, okay? We're due at our weekly staff meeting over at the 1-2-3 Lounge's conference room, so we'll choogle you later...- Editor