AMERIQUE:


A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: It is the unspoken statistic, but it is as real as anything to do with the lingering U.S. war efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan. According to the military, 1,800 American servicemen have killed themselves since the initial invasion of Baghdad. That is in addition to the more than 4,000 who died in battle. This week, families of the soldiers who committed suicide asked President Barack Obama to change the government policy of not forwarding letters of appreciation to mothers and fathers of these servicemen. By week's end, the White House had reversed the policy and agreed that such letters are needed, as well... - Eduardo Paz-Martinez, Editor of The Tribune

Friday, March 12, 2010

COMO DIABLOS!: Eavesdropper Woman Drops Roses, Panties On Stunned Editor...


By RON MEXICO
Herald-Tribune Crime Writer

BROWNSVILLE, TX - Just when you think a story has ended, here comes another blockbuster angle to throw it up against the wall. It never fails in border romance, and nothing - not a damned thing - ever surprises anymore.

Maria Nalely Tamez, the 28-year-old American living in Matamoros and fighting through a strange affliction that has her checking into area motels to eavesdrop on other guests, has told our editor she is in love with him. It is a wild and wicked turn-of-events, said numbed editor Patrick Alcatraz.

Late yesterday afternoon, Ms. Tamez shocked office staff by ambling in to deliver a bouquet of flowers and a box containing a pair of lacy black panties. Alcatraz, a single man known to chase pretty women, shook his head, saying he thought it was time to call the fuzz.

"That chick is nuts," said his secretary, the buxom Gloria DeAnda. "You can tell by looking at her eyes. It's like she can see nothing but Mr. Alcatraz. To me, she is dangerous."

In a perfumed note accompanying the flowers, Ms. Tamez penned: "I get a certain tingle in my body just imagining things with you. May I have the next dance, sir?"

Alcatraz posted a security guard at the entrance to the offices, although he made it clear he would speak to the woman if she showed-up and wanted to see him.

Ms. Tamez's connection with The Brownsville Herald-Tribune began earlier this week, when the media outlet published a photo of her with an ear to a wall inside a motel room. Later, she would tell the newspaper she does suffer from a mental disorder that has her doing such things, blaming it on an unfaithful ex-husband she caught with a prettier woman at the Alligator Motel in Brownsville.

The photo above was included inside the box of roses...

- 30 -

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's a Tracy Chapman kinda day, isn't it? Sun's out, but the cool, rough wind takes away its much-needed warmth.

~Claire

Patrick Alcatraz said...

You think, Claire? Tonight, a cold, wild wind will blow. I see it more as a Keith Richards kind of day. Oh, there's my cleanest dirty shirt over there....- Editor

Anonymous said...

Well, well, Patrick so you found yourself a secret admirer. Congratulations, maybe she can fill the voyed left by Ms. Claire. No pun intended of course.

Anonymous said...

The picture sure beats the heck out of arguing with anonymous, hey your pictorials are getting better by the minute.
Mr. Editor wasn't there a movie call some kind of f*#@*al attraction??? Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is. Winter's not ready to give up its season. Boy what a weathered Deep South Texas fight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2kEx5BLoC4

~Claire

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Oh, Claire is just whipping me for something I did sometime back. She knows me, and she knows that I know that she knows me. I think she heard from someone who heard it from someone else that I was living in Big D with a woman who was something of a a blackout drinker. In any case, she knows I always come home...- Editor

Anonymous said...

Mr. Editor: you need help, may I suggest an evening with dp-m and anais as his companion. I understand he is the "most" interesting man in town.
Add on a couple of 8 ounce glasses of red wine, and that will ease the pain for the lovely Claire. Temporarily fix of course.

Anonymous said...

How about a picture of Y. Lasoya, she could be a contestant as well. And the cutie from the lonely heart club. She receive a lot of attention on earlier post. There are just so many. We trust you will do what your faithful reader request.

Don Pancho n. said...

Look, Patrick, I have visited the 1-2-3 lounge, and I have not seen a beauty like the one wearing the long dress.
Come, come, my fellow man, formal attire at the 1-2-3 is an insult to that place. The people I saw there, I would not invite to a local dog pound. I saw a woman stumbling out the door, if it wasn't because of my 1960's chivalry ways, the poor woman would have landed on her rear.

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Don Pancho, and you won't see her there when DP-M is not there. A bar is just a bar until he shows up. Then it becomes something else. It's uncanny. We're sure you understand...- Editor

Don Pancho said...

MMMMM, I don't know about the 1-2-3, bar, DP-M takes this cutie there? I am surprised, the women I saw there and some guy who probably doesn't know the meaning of a shower, looked low life. About the only people who go there are the Tara supporters.
An evening with Don Pancho, would be an evening to remember. I know the siete mares, la playa, and the 1-2-3 would be places, I would ask the city to condemn. Those places are health hazards, my back is still hearting after trying to hold a 300 pound hefty. Who lost a shoe and God knows what else. She was drunker than a junk yard dawg. Surely, DP-M can afford better places than those.
Oh well, than he might not. I hope your answer will be a positive one.

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Like worthy Lotharios of the past, DP-M is comfortable in the most ornate of bedrooms, as he is in a pile of manger hay. The "moment" carries itself... - Editor

Anonymous said...

Patrick, I have noticed you have obsconded from showing a picture of the boxom sec. of the Herald-Tribune, now, now, lets be fair and let us be the judge and see if we agree with one of your writers comments on a post.

Patrick Alcatraz said...

We're working on her, but posing for us is not in her job description... - Editor

Anonymous said...

Raquel Olivares and Marina Torres, are soooo good looking, I can't see any other contestant coming close to this two divas.

Lucky 7-7 said...

You are not just blowing wind in the air, those two get my vote, anon.

Patrick Alcatraz said...

Hold your votes. There are a few other worthy contestants still to come...- Editor